Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. •To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is basically believed by
general
public that in order to improve Add an article
the general
health
condition
and hindering Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
emerging
of sicknesses, states need to focus more on issues related to house Replace the word
emergence
construction
and poor weather condition
. This
essay will argue how significantly it is important
to provide preventive actions in Correct word choice
apply
this
regard so as not to get stuck in undesired consequences.
On the one hand, there are
Change the verb form
is
great
deal of people who strongly support Change the article
a great
Correct article usage
the governments
governments
idea in terms of increasing Change noun form
government's
transport
and housing system. Correct article usage
the transport
therefore
they may ignore its potential threats to quality
of air and so forth. They believe the more Add an article
the quality
construction
sector is actively working the more workers will be employed and the more money will be circulated throughout the country. Self-evidently Correct article usage
the construction
such
decision
will supply Correct article usage
a decision
fund
to Fix the agreement mistake
funds
government
as Correct article usage
the government
it
can be observed in most developing countries and despite Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
such
activities they could be able to preserve the environment and health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
in
an acceptable level. Change preposition
at
Therefore
in their point of view
their action outdo the disadvantages.
Add a comma
view,
On the other hand
, some believe that government
should conduct any possible activity to hinder low-quality air . they assume increased number of cars sometimes, non-standard Correct article usage
the government
along with
emitting greenhouse gasses due to
construction
sector activities put
Verb problem
apply
force
significant Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
health
issues. Indeed, existence
Replace the word
existing
evidences
testify it; most Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
lung related
Add a hyphen
lung-related
sickness
are derived from air pollution and even housing Fix the agreement mistake
sicknesses
construction
despite its benefits pose
Correct subject-verb agreement
poses
threat
to workers who are being hospitalized nowadays. Correct article usage
a threat
Therefore
its disadvantages outweigh the advantages so they do not suggest it.
This
essay argued
why it is recommended that Wrong verb form
argues
government
concentrate more Correct article usage
the government
Change preposition
on
of
habitat pollution Change preposition
on
along with
construction
issues to hinder adverse
Add an article
the adverse
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
of
Change preposition
apply
them
. In my point of view Correct pronoun usage
apply
health
and living condition
hold the first priority in human being life and must be protected by any means.Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure a clear and logical ordering of your paragraphs and ideas. Create a clear roadmap for your reader in your introduction and make sure each paragraph follows logically from the one before it.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include both an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and reiterate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. While you have touched upon various arguments, providing concrete examples to illustrate your points will make your essay stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that you respond completely to the task. While you have addressed the topic, deeper analysis and a more nuanced discussion would enhance your response. Make sure to explore the implications of the points you make.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in presenting your ideas. Use simple, direct language, and make sure each paragraph clearly presents a distinct aspect of your argument. This will help your reader follow your line of reasoning more easily.
task achievement
While you have included some relevant points, aim to provide more thorough and varied examples. Doing so would strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a broader understanding of the issue at hand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.