Some parents believe that home schooling is more beneficial than the traditional schools. What is your opinion.

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Depsite
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Despite
the fact that Some families prefer
anciest
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
, some ones,including me, tend to encourage their children
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
study
at
home
Use synonyms
as it will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
conveninet
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convenient
in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of
clothe
Correct subject-verb agreement
clothes
show examples
or has positive impacts on
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
such
Linking Words
as declining
air
Use synonyms
pollution. A number of households think traditional
schools
Use synonyms
are much better than
home
Use synonyms
school. they investigate that only being present at school
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
particular time with
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
uniform can
poses
Wrong verb form
pose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
feeling of responsibility for
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
and school.
However
Linking Words
, by developing in quality and quantity of learning social media, especially after Covid-19
widespred
Correct your spelling
widespread
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
at
home
Use synonyms
could be more essential and convenient. Some families
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
studying
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
at
home
Use synonyms
has more merits as it is more convenient in many aspects
such
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as wearing
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
the uniform
show examples
. Many
schools
Use synonyms
forced
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
students to wear special
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not beautiful or convenient. Pupils feel depressed since most of that clothes are too
rediculous
Correct your spelling
ridiculous
show examples
and they have sad and dark colours as well.
For example
Linking Words
,
scarfes
Correct your spelling
scarves
scarfs
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
chosen for girls or ugly dark shirts with long pans for boys
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
make students frustrated. If pupils had
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to study at
home
Use synonyms
, they would have a chance to select their
favourit
Correct your spelling
favourite
garments.I
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
agree with throwing out the uniforms and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
on suitable clothes without regarding
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
. Another convincing perk is that by
home
Use synonyms
-school
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
either children or their parents do not have to
stuck
Add a missing verb
be stuck
show examples
in traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
,
waste
Correct word choice
and waste
show examples
their time and fuel
either
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
This
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benefit may cause reducing
air
Use synonyms
pollution every one can
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
clean
air
Use synonyms
.I
definently
Correct your spelling
definitely
advocate
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
home schooling
Correct your spelling
homeschooling
show examples
as it has numerous
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
advantages for
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
many parents
have preferance
Verb problem
prefer
show examples
to choose classic
schools
Use synonyms
, I
discover
Wrong verb form
discovered
show examples
home
Use synonyms
schooling
much
Add a missing verb
is much
show examples
better than them since
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
can give a chance to students what they want to wear
instead
Linking Words
of ugly
nounesense
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
uniforms and
also
Linking Words
can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
in
Change the article
a possitive
show examples
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
way.
For example
Linking Words
, by decreasing
air
Use synonyms
pollution.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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Task Achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline your opinion more directly. This will help readers know what to expect in the essay.
Task Achievement
Remember to directly address the essay prompt in your response. It asks for your opinion on home schooling vs traditional school, so ensure all paragraphs contribute to this discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs to structure your essay logically. Each paragraph should discuss one main idea, and this idea should be clear from the first sentence of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on grammar and spelling throughout your essay. Errors can distract from your argument and reduce the clarity of your points.
Task Achievement
Provide a more varied range of examples to support your points. Specific examples can significantly strengthen your argument by demonstrating the real-world application of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider working on your argumentation skills. Ensure that each point made is clearly supported by reasons or examples. This will make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion should summarise your main points and reiterate your opinion. Ensure it is impactful and effectively brings your essay to a close.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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