IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that history has little to teach us about today while others think that the study of the past helps us to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #history #study
When it comes to
history
 and its importance in present, there are differing opinions on the matter. A few
people
 believe that
history
 provides very limited lessons about
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
.
Whreas
Correct your spelling
Whereas
, the other part
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 thinks that
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
 us to
comprehend
Wrong verb form
comprehending
show examples
today
's situation.It is
importany
Correct your spelling
important
 to explore both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of the argument to gain a comprehensive understanding. In
this
 essay, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views will be discussed followed by my opinion. Admittedly,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 in understanding the present doesn't
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 without limitations.
One
 of the reasons why it is not
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 relevant is the social, technological,
Correct word choice
and economical
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 advancement which has been achieved during the passage of time.
Person's
Correct article usage
A person's
show examples
 needs, capabilities and many aspects like these
contradicts
Change the verb form
contradict
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 we had in past.
Therefore
, taking
history
 as a basis for making
today
's world might not be the right thing to do.
For instance
,
people
 in
history
 did not have expenses like Internet
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
, mobile bills or subscriptions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 OTT
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
.
Thus
, we cannot study
budgeting
Correct article usage
the budgeting
show examples
 of
today
's
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 with a young lad in 1960.
Furthermore
, technology has changed things drastically at social,
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 and personal
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
. Modern problems related to society cannot be solved using the data from
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, despite
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 drawbacks, I believe that we can still make use of
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 in the present.
One
 major argument
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
this
 is
people
 and their emotions. Even though their needs,
standard
Correct word choice
and standard
show examples
 of living
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed, it did not have
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 impact on how
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 thinks, feels and reacts to certain things. We can
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 use the former knowledge about human psychology to understand
today
's
people
. It may not be accurate but will help researchers a lot in
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 of
today
's community.
Also
, the lessons from
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 relating to management, budgeting,etc can be used in
today
's world with little improvements.
Although
, the face of
today
's problem may be different
ffrom
Correct your spelling
from
 yesterday. But it is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. To cite an example, Emperors in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 managed their army very well. We can use their lessons to create
today
's strategy for human resource management. After considering
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the debate, I find the arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of using
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 to understand
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 more compelling.
While
 there are other points made by
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side, I firmly believe that the former
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offers considerations that
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
.
To conclude
,
although
 the present has changed a lot from yesterday,
history
 still assists us largely in understanding the current situation.
Submitted by nidhi.neil on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The body paragraphs should each focus on a specific point, supported by examples or explanations.
task response
Make sure to directly answer the question posed in the prompt in your introduction and reiterate your stance in the conclusion for clarity and reinforcement of your position.
coherence
Use paragraphing effectively to separate ideas and create a logical flow throughout your essay. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the idea or point you will discuss.
support
Enhance the support for your main points by including more detailed examples and explanations that are directly related to the prompt. This will help to make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
language
Work on varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable lessons
  • insights
  • root causes
  • current problems
  • past mistakes
  • repeating
  • generations
  • informed decisions
  • irrelevant
  • unique
  • contemporary solutions
  • technological advancements
  • thorough understanding
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