IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, truancy* is a worrying problem for both parents and educators. What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community? * truancy = the situation when a child pretends to go to school but in fact goes somewhere else, for example to play unsupervised. The verb is 'to play truant from school.'

#countries #truancy* #parents #educators #truancy #effects #child #community #situation #school #fact #verb
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents
Use synonyms
 and school teachers are complaining and worrying about those
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students who are leaving home in order to attend school but in
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 they aim to somewhere else to conduct their wishes. There are potential causes for
this
Linking Words
 issue
as well as
Linking Words
 some drastic
long- term
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 effects. As people are concerned about their
children
Use synonyms
's future, they continue to be
over protective
Correct your spelling
overprotective
show examples
 about them but, some do the opposite. Many
parents
Use synonyms
 do not care about their
children
Use synonyms
's school, behavior, friends
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
ect
Correct your spelling
etc.
 which directly leads to
children
Use synonyms
's disobedience on the
one
Use synonyms
 hand and
abusive
Replace the word
abuse
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
parents
Use synonyms
 are not controlling them they will do whatever they wish, assuming nobody is aware. Indeed, education and family culture
as well as
Linking Words
 parent’s behavior significantly affect
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 future understanding and acts. When they play their role under desired and
non standard
Add a hyphen
non-standard
show examples
 how can
one
Use synonyms
 blame
children
Use synonyms
 for their
deed
Fix the agreement mistake
deeds
show examples
? Self-evidently, when
parents
Use synonyms
 are not playing their correct role in
children
Use synonyms
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 more unwanted, undesired consequences will
be emerged
Wrong verb form
emerge
show examples
.
One
Use synonyms
 huge problem will be that they will end up in jail as they continue to be disobedient and commit crimes in society from slight
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to severe.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 may start trading drugs as a source of fast and tremendous income.
Also
Linking Words
, they can stay illiterate and in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 they will be deprived of its benefits
therefore
Linking Words
 they cannot find suitable
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 for themselves. Working as
construction
Correct article usage
a construction
show examples
 worker may not be a good option but they have to take
Linking Words
due
Correct pronoun usage
it due
show examples
 to their lack of literacy.
Overall
Linking Words
, any negative result be will imagined as an effect of truancy that should be come under control. We infer that most of the abnormal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, crimes and conflicts from
grown up
Add a hyphen
grown-up
show examples
 people in society derive from actions
such
Linking Words
 as truancy that must be supervised effectively. If
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 issues are not properly taken care of in the long- term
this
Linking Words
 will exacerbate the situation and will be more costly if time
pass
Change the verb form
passes
show examples
.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. For this topic, you should explicitly discuss the causes of truancy as well as its effects on both the child and the wider community. Providing more specific and varied examples can help illustrate your points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your ideas and arguments by organizing them more logically. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points, ensuring there's a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you've mentioned effects like potential imprisonment or illiteracy, delve deeper into how truancy directly contributes to these outcomes. More detailed examples can strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: