Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People
have different ideas about whether juniors of all age
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
have to aid
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
home
chores or not, in that some
people
oppose the other part. I believe working at
home
and helping will be preliminary steps for them to be self-sufficient. On the one hand, there are
people
who believe small
children
must go free when their schools are terminated in order to enjoy their leisure time. They justify that
children
are only placed once
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their age and missing
this
opportunity can cause some symptoms of psychological disorders later in their life, and it can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
to be introverted
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
isolated and so on. Another justification goes around their lack of experience which causes them incapable of taking
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
.
Overall
, working
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
children
is not recommended by
this
group.
On the other hand
, some argue that
children
should initiate their responsibility
taking
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from childhood so as not to be clumsy and
total
Change the word
totally
show examples
inexperienced when they finish school. They rationalize that when they help at
home
, they spend time with
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
so that they can learn more despite preventing from potential dangers of some untrustworthy friends. All in all, they consider
this
chance as an appropriate opportunity for
children
to gain experience
along with
Change preposition
while
show examples
bypassing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
possible hazards. In conclusion, I can understand why some
people
assume
children
's working is not plausible and have to ignore it, but I believe in opposite when there are
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
amount of benefits derived from their activity at
home
.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Make sure to clearly introduce the core of the topic in the introduction and finish with a strong, summarised conclusion to better outline your stance and overview all key points discussed.
Clarity of Main Points
Aim for clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the question being asked. This ensures that each paragraph is clearly aligned with different aspects of the topic.
Use of Examples
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. Utilizing specific, detailed examples can strengthen your argument and make your answer more persuasive.
Linking & Cohesion
Focus on linking your ideas more clearly and smoothly. The use of linking words and phrases can help in connecting your ideas and ensuring that the essay flows well from one point to the next.
Logical Structure
Be mindful of the essay's overall organization. Ensure that there is a logical flow of ideas and that each paragraph effectively contributes to the overall argument or discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
What to do next:
Look at other essays: