IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reason for this, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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It has been acknowledged that violence and offence are drastically escalating among
younger
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the younger
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 generation in urban areas throughout the world.
This
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 essay will discuss two related reasons including lack of control by
parents
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 and insufficient
rules
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 and fines for
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 committed
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 essay will
also
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suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
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 two
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
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such
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 as strict
rules
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 and regulations
along with
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 some family restrictions. Majority of the
families
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 and governments are not putting forward strict
rules
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 either at home as a small family or in
society
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in
Change preposition
on
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big
Correct article usage
a big
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 scale. There may be considerations from
parents
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 and governments toward
children
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 and citizens since they do not intend to intervene in their affairs in order to provide freedom for family members and
society
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.
For instance
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,
families
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 may think that if they have limited
children
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 they would not have gained enough self-confidence in their life and
this
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 gradually leads to potential opportunities to commit crimes.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 that
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
rules
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leaded
Correct your spelling
led
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 to violence in
society
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.
Overall
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 both factors
derives
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derive
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 from inadequate regulations in communities. To overcome
this
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 flaw, strict
rules
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 can be introduced both for younger
children
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 by
parents
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 and city dwellers by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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. The more discipline
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 regulated in
society
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 the better obedience will be conducted by people.
Likewise
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, these
rules
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 can be set upon
children
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 in
families
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 to some extent. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
show
Correct pronoun usage
that show
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low
Add an article
a low
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 rate of
crime
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committing
Wrong verb form
committed
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 in countries with
adequate
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an adequate
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 set of laws. Even some
parents
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repot
Correct your spelling
report
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 high obedience
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 when regulations exist at home. All in all,
rules
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 play
as
Change preposition
apply
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a preventive action in emerging violence and
crime
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. In summary,
this
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 essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
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 about main reasons
of growing
Verb problem
for the growth
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 in
crime
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 including
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of
set
Add an article
a set
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 of
rules
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 both in
families
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 and
society
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 and
also
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 solutions
such
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 as more restrictions either at home by
parents
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 or in
society
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 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. In my opinion, if someone or a government want to control the people, they should set strict
rules
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 first before any other disciplinary action has been taken.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more structured essay with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single idea. Use transition words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure you fully address both parts of the prompt. Develop your ideas more thoroughly with specific examples and ensure you discuss both reasons for youth crime and a wider range of solutions.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your points. This adds depth to your essay and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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