The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
The diagram illustrates the making procedure of
sugar
in industries using sugar
cane.
Overall
, as per the data the manufacturing process includes 7 major steps right from growing the sugar
cane to extracting sugar
USE SYNONYMS
carbohydrate
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
.
As shown in the illustration, sugar
canes are farmed initially
. They are completely grown after twelve to eighteen months. Later they are harvested in two methods either by machines or manually using sickles. Thirdly
, it is observed that sugar
canes undergo a process called crushing where the juice
is extracted from the canes through a machine.
In the fourth stage, the extracted juice
undergoes purification through a filter made up of limestone. In the next step, the purified juice
is poured into an evaporator. Here, the juice
is boiled with the help of heat and then
converted to syrup. In the sixth level, the formed syrup is sent into a circular centrifuge where sugar
crystals are extracted from it. According to
the picture, the sugar
is formed by drying and cooling in large buckets finally
.Submitted by thilagaraj7007 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.
▼