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Band 4.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country.Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development
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In today's globalized world, learners are choosing foreign countries for better
education
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;
However
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, it was not the same in earlier years. In
olden
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the olden
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 days, people completed their
studies
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 in
the
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their
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home
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country
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itself
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apply
show examples
.
This
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 essay discusses
both
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 advantages and disadvantages of
the
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apply
show examples
aborad
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abroad
show examples
education
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. Admittedly, going to
other
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another country
other countries
show examples
country
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 for
education
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 comes with some drawbacks.
One
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 of the prominent
demerit
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demerits
show examples
 of foreign
education
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 is
reduction
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a reduction
the reduction
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 in GDP and resources for the
home
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country
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. To elaborate
further
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, when a student decides to move to
other
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another country
other countries
show examples
country
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, their nation
looses
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loses
show examples
 its skilled young workforce.
Additionally
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,
education
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 institutes
loose
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lose
show examples
 their income which results in
low
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a low
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 GDP for
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country
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the country
a country
show examples
.
For instance
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, during the audit of colleges in India, I realized that most of these institutions are working under loss.
Furthermore
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, when a student leaves his/her nation it affects families to
great
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a great
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 extent. Parents of
the
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apply
show examples
international
students
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 not only feel lonely
at
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
home
Correct pronoun usage
their home
show examples
country
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 but
also
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 makes them anxious about
Correct article usage
the wellbeing
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wellbeing
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well-being
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 of their
child
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children
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 in
foreign
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a foreign
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 land.
Also
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, abroad
studies
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comes
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come
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 with huge financial debt. Despite its disadvantages, international
studies
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provides
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provide
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 numerous benefits. Its primary benefits
includes
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include
show examples
 quality
education
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 and exposure to
global
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the global
a global
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 market.
One
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 cannot deny the fact that
education
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
India is not at par with global quality standards. The learners are unable to acquire
industry demanded
Add a hyphen
industry-demanded
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 skillsets in their
home
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country
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. To cite an example, most of the programmes in my
home
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country
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focuses
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focus
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 on
theoratical
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theoretical
 knowledge than practical knowledge.
Additionally
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,
students
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also
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 get exposure to
global
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the global
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 job market during their
education
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 in foreign
nation
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nations
show examples
.
One
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 meets people from different parts of the world. They learn about various cultures, languages, etc.
This
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 in turn helps in
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overall
Add an article
the overall
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 development of an individual.
Apart from
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this
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, developed countries
also
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 provide competitive wages for
both
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 skilled and unskilled workers. Because of
this
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,
students
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 do not feel ashamed to do any kind of job.
For instance
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, most of the
students
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 work in restaurants, supermarkets,
petrol
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and petrol
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 pumps
while
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 studying with no shame. And they
also
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 get paid fairly for their work.
To conclude
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, going abroad for
studies
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 comes with
both
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 benefits and drawbacks.
One
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 should consider
both
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides of the argument before making a decision about foreign
education
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.
Submitted by nidhi.neil on

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structure
To improve your essay's logical structure, make sure each paragraph follows smoothly from the one before. Use clear, linking phrases at the start of paragraphs and within them to guide the reader.
introduction conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise. Your introduction should briefly introduce the topic and your argument, while your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
content
For supported main points, try to develop your arguments further with more specific examples and explanations. This will help to make your essay more persuasive and informative.
task response
Your response to the task is generally good, but you can improve by ensuring your ideas are presented more comprehensively. This involves elaborating on your points with more depth and clarity.
examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Doing so will demonstrate a better understanding of the topic and will make your essay more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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