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Writing Samples
Band 5

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#person #someone #diet #plenty #exercise #stress #people #country
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It is often believed that a person is said to be healthy, if he maintains good
idet
Correct your spelling
idea
diet
,
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to be
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
, and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
exercise
Change to a plural noun
exercises
show examples
. In my
country
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 should follow
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 routine to stay fit. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss, and provide necessary examples to support my reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, It is very important to eat healthy. Eating good
food
Use synonyms
 helps you to be fit, and to be strong enough to stay away from tiredness.
Secondly
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,
Exercise
Use synonyms
 is a very important aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both mental and physical health,
workout
Correct article usage
a workout
show examples
 can help to come out of depression, and loneliness.
For example
Linking Words
, when I first came to Canada, I felt alone
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and wanted to go back to my
country
Use synonyms
. Things
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed after I decided to go to a gym and started working there, it helped me
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and healed my mental health. so, a person who follows
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 diet, and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 tends to stay happy and
peacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
. Quite
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
,
People
Use synonyms
 in my
country
Use synonyms
 eat a
lot
Use synonyms
 of junk
food
Use synonyms
. There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of stalls on
streets
Correct article usage
the streets
show examples
 in my place.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
show examples
 after finishing their work,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
show examples
 at one of these stalls and
eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
show examples
.
Due to
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 some
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
 contents that were often used in making these kinds of
food
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 suffer
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 problems like stomach pain, and long-term consumption may lead to some fatal organ damage.
For Instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a survey,
Last
Linking Words
 year 1200 crowd died
due to
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
liver disease caused by excess sauces and oils in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, several thousands were hospitalised. so,
people
Use synonyms
 should try to avoid these kinds of
food
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and should follow
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 diet, and include a
lot
Use synonyms
 of green vegetables.
To conclude
Linking Words
, staying fit, and doing healthy
exercise
Use synonyms
 helps you to stay away from a
lot
Use synonyms
 of chronic diseases. In my opinion, the government of my
country
Use synonyms
 should educate
people
Use synonyms
 about the deadly effects that might be caused
due to
Linking Words
 uneven lifestyle, and at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 it is
also
Linking Words
 the responsibility of everyone to constantly
moniter
Correct your spelling
monitor
 their own health.
Submitted by varmaib1 on

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Logical Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, development, and conclusion. While you present your ideas, don't forget to reiterate them in the conclusion to encapsulate your discussion effectively.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
Introduce and conclude your essay clearly, outlining your main points at the beginning and summarizing them at the end. This structuring will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Supported Main Points
Strengthen your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. This approach not only makes your essay more engaging but also demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
Complete Response
Cover all parts of the task. Your response should address all aspects of the question comprehensively.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Present your ideas clearly and concisely. Ensure that your essay is free from ambiguity and that your points are well-developed, as this will make your argument stronger.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Use specific examples to support your ideas. Examples make your arguments more concrete and relatable, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • processed foods
  • sugary drinks
  • physical activities
  • aerobic activity
  • vigorous activity
  • moderate activity
  • mindfulness practices
  • meditation
  • deep breathing exercises
  • hydration
  • dehydration
  • healthcare professionals
  • early detection
  • obesity
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • monitor and maintain your health
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