the pie charts below show enrollment in different fields of study at a particular university.

#show #enrollment #fields #study #university

The charts compare the proportions related to students enrolling in various fields of study by gender.

Overall

, of the two charts,

education

has the highest percentage among women. After that Engineering and

humanities

are second and third respectively. Engineering has the highest popularity among men.

On the other hand

Humanities

has the least share in comparison with women, which is the second most popular field.

Education

has the highest popularity among women with 35%.

Then

Humanities

and Engineering are

also

more popular, respectively, the former with 30% and the latter with 20%.

whereas

, the lowest share belongs to Social Scientists with 15%. Coming to details, Engineering has the most salient proportion in enrollment among men with 35% in comparison with other fields.

While

Humanities

is the lowest field among men (15%), the two remained fields(Social Sciences,

Education

) have considerable rates. In descending order,

Education

and Social Sciences account for 20 and 25

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of male students respectively.

Submitted by attarzadehosseiniaida on Thu Feb 29 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, humanities with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the pie charts below show enrollment in different fields of study at a particular university.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?