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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #work #move #friends #families #development
With the abundance of the facilities and the resources, an induced influx of workers towards urban areas can be seen. It is often argued that
,
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individuals have to be apart from their significant others, for the sake of searching for a job. Whilst it's acknowledged that
this
 has some negative outcomes, in
this
 essay I will discuss that the positive aspects of it outweigh the drawbacks. It is conspicuous that, in the Contemporary World, working opportunities are centred towards the town areas.
Hence
, relocating to those areas alone, by leaving homes may have many beneficiaries, which may assist those members to build up their level of income. Eventually, the reduction of the expenses borne for food,electricity bills and other utilities as a single unit may help the worker to save more money.
Furthermore
, as more time is left
due to
 the lowering of familial responsibilities, the ability to do more extra duties and overtime is increased.
For example
, a person who migrates without dependants can develop good financial stability, when compared to staying in the mother country.
On the other hand
, relatives and loved ones are crucial factors which alter our recreation. Perhaps, enjoying the live occasions with those people, sharing their feelings and having a chat with them have
gigantic
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 influence on the performance of a worker.
For instance
, the stress and depression experienced by a newcomer in a company
due to
 the new environment before adjusting to it may affect their forthcoming professional life too. In conclusion, even though there are a plethora of cons related to
the
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leaving
of
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the hometown for the aim of finding money, its pros outweigh those disadvantages.
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task achievement
While your introduction clearly presents the topic and stance, try to further elaborate on the key points in the body paragraphs. Adding more specific examples will strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve your use of transitional phrases to better link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance coherence and make the essay flow more smoothly.
general
Address grammatical errors and improve word choice for clarity. Consider varying your sentence structure to add interest and precision.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant main points that are pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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