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Writing Samples
Band 3

state the advantages and disadvantages of strict laws of noise pollution.

#laws #noise #pollution
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As the population increased, the needs of
societys
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societies
also
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 increased.
This
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nuturally
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naturally
 causes sound dirtiness. There are some
rules
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 to prevent
this
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.
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However
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However,
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 these
rules
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 are quite rigorous. In
this
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 article, I will talk about the positive and negative aspects of these rigid statutes.
Firstly
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, I will start with the
favorable
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favourable
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 aspects. Very noisy environments are very worrying for human health. Especially, the sounds made by vehicles in traffic, the vocals that workers in factories are exposed to, and uncontrolled loud music in entertainment venues...etc. It is very important that all
these
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the
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 loudness we have to be exposed to
are
Wrong verb form
is
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 kept within a limit by
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the governmental
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governmental
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government
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. These are
within
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apply
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extremly
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extremely
 hard
rules
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 for the health of nations. If canons are stiff,
familys
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families
 will trust them. Not the other way
rounds
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around
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.
Seconly
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Secondly
, If we look at it from the negative side, it can be seen from the examples from the past that overly obligatory laws overwhelm folks.
As a result
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, people who are
overhelmed
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overwhelmed
 do not take these seriously, regardless of the consequences. Of course,
this
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 is an outcome we do not want. In conclusion, a coercive constitution has
bot
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both
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 positive and negative aspects on the nations. In my opinion, anything balanced is much healthier.
Instead
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 of high penalties, rewards should be given to those who comply with these
rules
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ecem.tekben on

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task achievement
Your introduction lays a good groundwork for discussing the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines what the reader can expect. Including a well-defined thesis statement will enhance your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally orderly, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs can be more fluid. Use connecting phrases like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'Similarly' to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You adequately covered both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view. However, your ideas would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments. Try to incorporate real-life instances or more detailed hypothetical scenarios.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes both views, which is good. However, it introduces a new idea regarding rewards for compliance, which is not discussed in the body paragraphs. Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes the points made and reinforces your initial thesis without introducing new arguments.
general
Pay attention to proofreading your work for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, as these detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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