IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are increasingly taking place online nowadays. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#research #business #meetings #discussions #place #trend
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Digitalisation means everyone
rely
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relies
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 on technology rather than old-fashioned devices. They used to conduct special occasions, including business conferences, discussions, and formal training
by
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apply
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online.
This
phenomena
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phenomenon
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 definitely brings positive impacts to human lives which outbreak the
drewbacks
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drawbacks
 and will be elaborated on
the
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in the
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 following essay. As aforementioned before, modern devices would bring some advantages to many people,
such
 as cutting off their personal budget
on
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for
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 transportation. The utilization
on
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of
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the
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apply
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technology
defines
Verb problem
means
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 that all assignments
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 be done by the employees at their
home
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homes
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, so they do not need to go to their
office
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offices
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. The time that should be for commuting can be switched to prepare
an
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apply
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additional materials or presentations.
At
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In
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 the end, the workers are ready to deliver
the
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apply
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results and increase their
productivities
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productivity
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 rather than
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frustrated
frustated
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frustrated
 after being stuck in
the
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a
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 traffic jam and come lately at the office
On the other hand
, virtual discussions
also
 have a negative impact,
such
 as reducing the personal touch. Face-to-face interaction is essential to know each other
expression
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expressions
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, but
this
 would be a barrier when everyone
use
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uses
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 an online meeting. Luckily, there is a camera on the applications, like
zoom
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Zoom
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 and
google meet
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Google Meet
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that can be allowed and turned on by them, so it can make them easy to perceive and bond each
others
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other
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.
In
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Overall
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overall
, it can be seen that
the
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apply
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technology
help
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helps
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 employees to save
their
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apply
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money for transportation and
rise
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raise
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 up their productivity at home,
otherwise
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otherwise,
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 it
also
decrease
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decreases
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 personal interaction, but
this
 could be solved by the camera and
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally. Ending with a conclusion that clearly states if one outweighs the other can provide a more balanced and complete response.
task achievement
For clearer and comprehensive ideas, refine your argument by expanding on how the advantages and disadvantages compare to each other. Providing specific examples or statistics would strengthen your argument and make your ideas more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Increase logical structuring by creating distinct paragraphs for each main point, ensuring there's a clear order that guides the reader through your argument. A paragraph should introduce the point, elaborate on it with examples or further explanation, and then conclude or transition smoothly to the next point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should state the topics you will discuss, while the conclusion should summarize your points and state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
In order to support your main points more effectively, include specific, real-world examples or evidence. This grounds your argument in reality and makes it more compelling to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Convenience
  • Geographical locations
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Venue hire
  • Flexibility
  • Scheduling conflicts
  • Carbon emissions
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Technical challenges
  • Proficiency
  • Human element
  • Non-verbal cues
  • Team cohesion
  • Cybersecurity threats
  • Confidentiality
What to do next:
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