IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The provided pie charts show statistics of granted degrees at the National University from 1990 to 2010.

The provided pie charts show statistics of granted degrees at the National University from 1990 to 2010.
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The pie chart compares
percentage
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the percentage
show examples
 of degrees which accept
Use synonyms
grant
Fix the agreement mistake
grants
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 at national
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 until 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that computer science was the greatest degree that achieved reward for three years.
To begin
Linking Words
, as mentioned earlier, in 1990 computer science became
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of most
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 that accepted
award
Fix the agreement mistake
awards
show examples
 as
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
 did, and it was still
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 that
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the greatest
grant
Use synonyms
 until 2010 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 followed by
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
percentage
Change preposition
in percentage
show examples
. At 30%,
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 was another most department which attained reward in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, there was
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 number namely 5% during
following
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the following
show examples
 year.
Whereas
Linking Words
, medicine
initially
Linking Words
 got 25% of
funding
Correct article usage
the funding
show examples
, and it was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 second major which got
greatest
Change the article
the greatest
show examples
 funding.
Then
Linking Words
, in 2000 medicine was still
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 major that
accept
Wrong verb form
accepted
show examples
 huge
Use synonyms
grant
Fix the agreement mistake
grants
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 was followed by
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase
funding
Change preposition
in funding
show examples
 namely 5%.
However
Linking Words
, it passed a decline in 2010, namely only 25% of funding which they got. At 15%,
law
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the law
a law
show examples
 was
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 that got
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
Use synonyms
grant
Fix the agreement mistake
grants
show examples
 in national
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in 1990.
Then
Linking Words
, it was followed by
decline
Add an article
a decline
show examples
 in
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of funding in 2000 namely 5%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, law funding gradually
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 2010 became 15%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words grant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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