Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Due to
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technological advancement, more and more children are spending their
time
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with computers not doing something productive but playing online games. Is
this
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something that has a negative impact on children? I believe that it does have an adverse effect on the physical
as well as
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mental health of young ones.
This
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essay provides
further
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reasoning to support
this
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cause.
To begin
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with, the youth seems to be attracted to technology and spend most of their
time
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on computers. Nowadays, kids seem reluctant to socialize as they spend less
time
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outside because they are busy playing online. Their social life suffers a lot
due to
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this
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reason.
For example
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, kids go to school to get educated and spend most of their
time
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of day at that place, the leftover
time
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which is limited they spend online which makes them not to meet someone and have no friends in their area.
Thus
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,
this
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is the reason why we don't see kids wandering around anymore these days on the streets and playing outside.
Furthermore
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, spending
time
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in front of the screen could damage the eyesight of minors. We know very well that gaming requires a lot of focus on the eyes which can have consequences for them wearing glasses.
Additionally
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, doing online stuff does not make minors physically work as they can perform that sitting at their place.
This
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can make them suffer through several diseases
such
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as obesity if there is no physical activity done. In conclusion, I would like to address that there are no pros of playing on a computer but only has drawbacks whether that be having no friends around to chat with in person or severe eyesight and health effects.
Submitted by mannadarshpal13 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced view by including potential benefits of playing computer games, as the question asks to what extent you agree or disagree. This will help you fully address the prompt and show your ability to evaluate both sides of an argument.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points. While you mention the negative effects such as social isolation and health issues, providing real-life instances or statistics can strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Transition smoothly between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This not only aids the reader in following your argument but also showcases your linguistic range.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by explanations and examples. This will help readers understand the progression of your essay better.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • spatial awareness
  • hand-eye coordination
  • reaction times
  • social isolation
  • detrimental effects
  • behavior and attitude
  • multiplayer and online games
  • fostering
  • addiction
  • obesity
  • eyestrain
  • prolonged screen time
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