IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?

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It is true that the need for sustenance is growing globally. There are a number of reasons for
this
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 phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by the international authorities. There are two primary reasons why the increasing
demand
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 for
food
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. One reason is the increase in
population
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 in the world. It has been attributed to the rising request for
food
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 globally.
For instance
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, a family has four members: a wife, a husband and two children which is evidence of different demands from a big home having six members.
This
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 means the
demand
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 for
food
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 consumption increased double.
Moreover
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, in modern life, the public would enhance their living standards by providing themselves with better necessary needs like the standards for cuisine, which is considered redundant.
this
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 leads to a result that the sustenance needs have dramatically soared to peak at the rate of providing a large amount of resources. Fortunately, there are several methods that the international community to adopt to maintain a sufficient level of
food
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demand
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.
Firstly
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, one of the methods is that the government in each country should implement
population
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 control regulations.
This
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 is because if the worldwide
population
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 is managed at the minimum rate,
this
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 will be a lighter burden on
food
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 allocation.
For example
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, in the nations, each family should have only one to two kids.
Furthermore
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, policymakers should increase their income and provide technological assistance to the agricultural department, which helps them improve productivity in agricultural activities.
Therefore
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, these approaches could be helpful for suppliers to meet the
food
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demand
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 internationally. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 there are various reasons related to the dense
population
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 and the higher living standards for the public, meanwhile, some measures which the global community should take action to solve the insufficient sustenance problem worldwide.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your score, aim to present your ideas more clearly and logically. Structure your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea, ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main points with more diverse and explicit examples. Specific real-world instances related to the points you make can greatly improve the depth and persuasiveness of your arguments.
General
For a higher score, focus on refining your essay structure. Include a distinct introduction stating the essay’s aim, body paragraphs each discussing a specific point with supporting examples, and a coherent conclusion summarizing the key findings or opinions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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