some people believe that it is best to accept bad stiuation others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your opinion
It is argued that it
better
for people who are going through bad Add a missing verb
is better
time
to just accept that. Fix the agreement mistake
times
While
others say that they should work hardly
to change that. I agree with the second point of view, Rephrase
hard
due to
the huge impact you will get in the future and also
it protect
you from mental health problems.
Change the verb form
protects
Negative
lifestyle may lead to Correct article usage
A negative
metal
issues. Having a bad day Correct your spelling
mental
have
the ability Correct subject-verb agreement
has
cause
Fix the infinitive
to cause
for
you Change preposition
apply
a
trauma, what about having it every dayCorrect article usage
apply
.
Change the punctuation
?
According to
a recent study found that bad days have a serues
impact Correct your spelling
series
serious
to make
you suffer from a mental problem. People who give up are facing daily negativity because they think it Change preposition
on making
impossible
to make a forward step. Take Japan Add a missing verb
is impossible
for example
, a survey showed that one person from every five they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
tend
to suicide because of their unsatisfactory jobs. I believe that working in Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
job
that Add an article
a job
i
do not like Change the capitalization
I
everyday
will Replace the word
every day
defently
Correct your spelling
definitely
led
to a mental health issue.
Change the verb form
lead
be led
On the other hand
, thinking in the long-term effect will make you
life better. Putting your efforts in a new job Change the pronoun
your
for example
to improve your situation will help you to have freedom in the future. Iman once said, work in your 20s, so you can rest in your 40s. The secret why
a lot of people want not to do something about their situations is they want Change preposition
to why
a
fast results and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
only happened
in your dreams. I think that true changes Wrong verb form
happens
are
taking long time so if you want to become a successful person you have to start to think about the long-term impact.
In conclusion, accepting your bad situations may lead to mental problems. Verb problem
take
While
trying to take the risk so
you help your future self in the long-term.Correct word choice
apply
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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph naturally leads to the next, making your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points. This will make your stance more evident to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support each of your main points with specific examples. While you have provided some examples, including more detailed and varied evidence will strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
To fully meet the task requirements, make sure to discuss both viewpoints equally before presenting your own opinion. This balanced approach shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand on your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Providing more details and explanations will make your essay more informative and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your reasoning. This not only makes your argument more convincing but also shows a deeper analysis of the topic.
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