IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are working for a company.You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to take time off work • give details of the amount of time you need • suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

#company #time #work #manager #amount
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to get
time
Use synonyms
 off
work
Use synonyms
. Because I am going to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 with my family. It is our family tradition to go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 of year.
Last
Linking Words
 year I had to skip
this
Linking Words
 precious
time
Use synonyms
.In our
company
Add a comma
company,
show examples
 there was
chronic
Add an article
a chronic
the chronic
show examples
 shortage of staff.In
this
Linking Words
 year I can not skip as I had to do.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 why I need
time
Use synonyms
 off
work
Use synonyms
.Approximately one month can be enough for me.The reason is that we can travel more and more.With my
family
Add a comma
family,
show examples
 we are used to
travel
Change the verb form
traveling
show examples
 as much as possible.So, I need
this
Linking Words
 period of
time
Use synonyms
.If I talk about
work
Use synonyms
 covering
while
Linking Words
 I am away,you can choose other staff of our company.I suggest my friend whose job is the same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 mine.I can not say that he is better than me but he can
work
Use synonyms
 the same as me.I can be normal
while
Linking Words
 I am away.Because I believe him as I believe myself.
Therefore
Linking Words
,I recommend him
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
. If you  approve it,nobody can be better than me. Yours sincerely Og'abek.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Your letter attempts to address the task prompts, but the explanations and suggestions need to be more detailed and persuasive. Consider providing specific reasons and examples to make your request more compelling.
task achievement
The tone of the writing is informal at points, which may not be appropriate for a letter to your manager. Aim for a more formal and respectful tone, especially when making requests.
coherence cohesion
While your letter has a basic structure, it can benefit from more clear and logical organization. Try to separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs and use clear topic sentences to introduce each main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to better link your sentences and paragraphs together, enhancing the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting is appropriate, but the closing could be improved with a more formal sign-off, such as 'Yours faithfully' if you did not use the receiver's name, or 'Yours sincerely' if you did.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Respectful greeting (e.g., 'Dear [Manager's name],')
  • Time off, absence, leave of absence
  • Personal circumstances, compelling reason
  • Duration, number of days/weeks
  • Cover duties, delegate tasks, work handover
  • Alternative arrangements, contingency plans
  • Preparation, advance work, assistance
  • Gratitude, appreciate, understanding
  • Inconvenience, minimal disruption
  • Request approval, formally request
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