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Band 4

What is it in the mass media that has negative effects on teenagers and what measures should governments take to solve this problem?

#mass #media #effects #teenagers #measures #governments
In
todays
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today's
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 world,
the
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apply
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social media plays a critical and inseparable role in our lives.
Therefore
, it can affect us in negative ways,
specially
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especially
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, the younger generation. These impacts could be caused by inappropriate or misleading information
in
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on
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 different topics,
also
 it can create some unrealistic expectations
concering
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concerning
 their lives and values.
First,
we should look into the lack of supervision and proper content control which will eventually
results
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result
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 in
spread
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the spread
a spread
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 of false
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 or more so, the content reaching the wrong audience which may lead to wrong
expectation
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expectations
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 and misbelief.
For instance
, talking about sexual health or marital prospects would be a
usefull
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useful
 topic to learn about but not when
its
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it's
it is
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 presented to minors.
Therefore
, we can safely assume that there should be strict rules and protocols in order to stop the spread of wrong data or ill-suited information to the spectators. The
law makers
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lawmakers
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, can and should regulate firm and precise rules suitable to the needs of the situation which would
also
 preserve the right to freedom of speech.
This
 can't be done by machines and artificial intelligence as it is being done now because
,
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apply
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this
 needs a wide and accurate
understabding
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understanding
 of
teenager's
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teenagers'
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 nature and
also
 different cultures in a society.
This solutions
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This solution
These solutions
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 of
montoring
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monitoring
 the content and
enforce
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enforcing
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 laws
to
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on
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this
 matter
is
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are
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 highly recommended in order to save the youth from the negative impacts of the media titans.
Submitted by saleh89lhs on

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task achievement
To improve your score, focus on clearly introducing your essay with a thesis statement that addresses the full prompt, including both the negative effects of mass media on teenagers and specific government measures to solve this problem. Develop your essay with a separate paragraph for each main idea, and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking ideas more clearly both within and between paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' 'however') to better connect your ideas. Make sure your essay flows logically from the introduction through to the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
To further strengthen your essay, support your points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. Avoid general statements by providing concrete details or statistics that illustrate your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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