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Writing Samples
Band 6

the maps below show an industrial area in the town of the Norbiton and planned future development of the site

the maps below show an industrial area in the town of the Norbiton and planned future development of the site
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site
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The two maps display the before and after future development
to
Change preposition
of
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 the industrial site in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Norbiton town.
Overall
Linking Words
, the future project is
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
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 to transition the Norbiton industrial area into
residential
Correct article usage
a residential
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 one by adding housing and other amenities. Currently, the place has a roundabout in the center
in
Change preposition
apply
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which
connect
Correct subject-verb agreement
connects
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 the eastern road to the southern one. It
also
Linking Words
 has
a factories
Correct the article-noun agreement
factories
a factory
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 along the two roads.
However
Linking Words
, it
expected
Add a missing verb
is expected
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 to undergo significant development. Starting from the roundabout, there are plans to build a smaller one in the middle of the south street and a new road
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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across the river to the farmland.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to the east is planned to replace a factory
to
Change preposition
with
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 a school
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of the road and a playground
nerbay
Change the capitalization
Nerbay
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all the factories will replace it with a housing area. The
last
Linking Words
 thing is planned to open a medical center in the southeast
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 the new roundabout and shops
in
Change preposition
on
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 the other side.
Submitted by zx00154 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • development
  • infrastructure
  • manufacturing
  • facilities
  • transition
  • planning
  • commercial
  • residential
  • renovation
  • urban planning
  • sustainability
  • environmental impact
  • local economy
  • rejuvenation
  • construction
  • modernization
  • accessibility
  • demolition
  • gentrification
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