Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are some
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
about the friendships' quality of
people
who
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
it directly
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
people
makes
Correct pronoun usage
who makes
show examples
friends online. In my opinion,
I'm
Unnecessary verb
I
show examples
stand in the middle of
agree
Wrong verb form
agreeing
show examples
and
disagree
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disagreeing
show examples
to
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with
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this
statement.
Because for
Correct word choice
For
show examples
me, a meaningful friendship depends on a lot of factors
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
only
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on where it takes place. First and foremost,
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of friendships is increasing thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology development, especially
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
.
Virtual
Add an article
The virtual
show examples
environment has paved the way for
people
has
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to have
show examples
more
time
to connect. By texting and video calling easily, humans now can
flexible
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be flexible
show examples
in
time
and space talking to each other,
sharing
Correct word choice
and sharing
show examples
stories which is a factor
to develop
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in developing
show examples
their friendships. And because
people
's creatives are
infinity
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infinitely
show examples
so that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they create more ways to bond through
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
This
is proven in the pandemic
time
,
people
make friends online in various ways,
for example
: through online platforms like Omegle,... And they kept
Change preposition
in contect
show examples
contect
Correct your spelling
contact
to
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with
show examples
each other in order not to be bored
while
stayed
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staying
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in
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at
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home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
for
such
a long
time
. They played games online,
video
Correct word choice
and video
show examples
called to watch movies together,...
This
can
also
pull down the
hinderances
Correct your spelling
hindrances
of distances among humans.
On the other hand
, interaction directly plays a vital role in
nuture
Correct your spelling
nurturing
intimate relationships. When
people
meet each other face to face, they can express their
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
,
emotions
Correct word choice
and emotions
show examples
through gestures,
face
Replace the word
facial
show examples
expressions and the words they speak.
Moreover
, especially in the first meeting, spending
time
to hang out, to talk is an effective way to make a memorable memory.
Besides
, there are more and more types of bonding which require direct interaction,
such
as
deeptalk
Correct your spelling
deep talk
and teambuilding. By physical interactions,
people
receives
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receive
show examples
much more feelings than just texting. In conclusion, a meaningful friendship demands a range of requirements to increase its quality.
People
shoudn't
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
focus on how and where to make a
friend
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friends
show examples
,
instead
of that,
people
need to
concenstrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
in the factor how to make a friendship better
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
after
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
.
Submitted by mai132004mai on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear stance from the beginning. You mentioned standing in the middle, which could confuse readers about your position. A clear, definitive opinion helps in presenting your arguments more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing each paragraph with one clear main idea. Follow this with explanations, examples, or evidence that reinforce the paragraph’s main point. This helps in maintaining coherence throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. While your essay demonstrates a good range, pushing this further can help in achieving a higher band score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Double-check your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes. While minor errors are permissible, frequent errors can detract from the overall clarity and coherence of your essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
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