Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are some
arguements
about the friendships' quality of Correct your spelling
arguments
people
who starts
it directly Correct subject-verb agreement
start
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
people
makes
friends online. In my opinion, Correct pronoun usage
who makes
I'm
stand in the middle of Unnecessary verb
I
agree
and Wrong verb form
agreeing
disagree
Wrong verb form
disagreeing
to
Change preposition
with
this
statement. Because for
me, a meaningful friendship depends on a lot of factors Correct word choice
For
than
only Rephrase
rather than
focus
on where it takes place.
First and foremost, Wrong verb form
focusing
quality
of friendships is increasing thanks to Correct article usage
the quality
the
technology development, especially Correct article usage
apply
Internet
. Correct article usage
the Internet
Virtual
environment has paved the way for Add an article
The virtual
people
has
more Change the verb form
to have
time
to connect. By texting and video calling easily, humans now can flexible
in Add a missing verb
be flexible
time
and space talking to each other, sharing
stories which is a factor Correct word choice
and sharing
to develop
their friendships. And because Change preposition
in developing
people
's creatives are infinity
Replace the word
infinitely
so that
they create more ways to bond through Correct word choice
apply
Internet
. Add an article
the Internet
This
is proven in the pandemic time
, people
make friends online in various ways, for example
: through online platforms like Omegle,... And they kept Change preposition
in contect
contect
Correct your spelling
contact
to
each other in order not to be bored Change preposition
with
while
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
in
Change preposition
at
home
for Add an article
the home
a home
such
a long time
. They played games online, video
called to watch movies together,... Correct word choice
and video
This
can also
pull down the hinderances
of distances among humans.
Correct your spelling
hindrances
On the other hand
, interaction directly plays a vital role in nuture
intimate relationships. When Correct your spelling
nurturing
people
meet each other face to face, they can express their thought
, Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
emotions
through gestures, Correct word choice
and emotions
face
expressions and the words they speak. Replace the word
facial
Moreover
, especially in the first meeting, spending time
to hang out, to talk is an effective way to make a memorable memory. Besides
, there are more and more types of bonding which require direct interaction, such
as deeptalk
and teambuilding. By physical interactions, Correct your spelling
deep talk
people
receives
much more feelings than just texting.
In conclusion, a meaningful friendship demands a range of requirements to increase its quality. Change the verb form
receive
People
shoudn't
focus on how and where to make a Correct your spelling
shouldn't
friend
, Fix the agreement mistake
friends
instead
of that, people
need to concenstrate
in the factor how to make a friendship better Correct your spelling
concentrate
days
after Fix the agreement mistake
day
days
.Fix the agreement mistake
day
Submitted by mai132004mai on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear stance from the beginning. You mentioned standing in the middle, which could confuse readers about your position. A clear, definitive opinion helps in presenting your arguments more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing each paragraph with one clear main idea. Follow this with explanations, examples, or evidence that reinforce the paragraph’s main point. This helps in maintaining coherence throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. While your essay demonstrates a good range, pushing this further can help in achieving a higher band score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Double-check your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes. While minor errors are permissible, frequent errors can detract from the overall clarity and coherence of your essay.