Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are some
arguements
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arguments
about the friendships' quality of
people
Use synonyms
who
starts
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start
show examples
it directly
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighed
outweigh
people
Use synonyms
makes
Correct pronoun usage
who makes
show examples
friends online. In my opinion,
I'm
Unnecessary verb
I
show examples
stand in the middle of
agree
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agreeing
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and
disagree
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disagreeing
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to
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with
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this
Linking Words
statement.
Because for
Correct word choice
For
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me, a meaningful friendship depends on a lot of factors
than
Rephrase
rather than
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only
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
show examples
on where it takes place. First and foremost,
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of friendships is increasing thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology development, especially
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
.
Virtual
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The virtual
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environment has paved the way for
people
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has
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to have
show examples
more
time
Use synonyms
to connect. By texting and video calling easily, humans now can
flexible
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be flexible
show examples
in
time
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and space talking to each other,
sharing
Correct word choice
and sharing
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stories which is a factor
to develop
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in developing
show examples
their friendships. And because
people
Use synonyms
's creatives are
infinity
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infinitely
show examples
so that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they create more ways to bond through
Internet
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the Internet
show examples
.
This
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is proven in the pandemic
time
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,
people
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make friends online in various ways,
for example
Linking Words
: through online platforms like Omegle,... And they kept
Change preposition
in contect
show examples
contect
Correct your spelling
contact
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other in order not to be bored
while
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stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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home
Add an article
the home
a home
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for
such
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a long
time
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. They played games online,
video
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and video
show examples
called to watch movies together,...
This
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can
also
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pull down the
hinderances
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hindrances
of distances among humans.
On the other hand
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, interaction directly plays a vital role in
nuture
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nurturing
intimate relationships. When
people
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meet each other face to face, they can express their
thought
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thoughts
show examples
,
emotions
Correct word choice
and emotions
show examples
through gestures,
face
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facial
show examples
expressions and the words they speak.
Moreover
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, especially in the first meeting, spending
time
Use synonyms
to hang out, to talk is an effective way to make a memorable memory.
Besides
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, there are more and more types of bonding which require direct interaction,
such
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as
deeptalk
Correct your spelling
deep talk
and teambuilding. By physical interactions,
people
Use synonyms
receives
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receive
show examples
much more feelings than just texting. In conclusion, a meaningful friendship demands a range of requirements to increase its quality.
People
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shoudn't
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
focus on how and where to make a
friend
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friends
show examples
,
instead
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of that,
people
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need to
concenstrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
in the factor how to make a friendship better
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
after
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
.
Submitted by mai132004mai on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear stance from the beginning. You mentioned standing in the middle, which could confuse readers about your position. A clear, definitive opinion helps in presenting your arguments more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing each paragraph with one clear main idea. Follow this with explanations, examples, or evidence that reinforce the paragraph’s main point. This helps in maintaining coherence throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. While your essay demonstrates a good range, pushing this further can help in achieving a higher band score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Double-check your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes. While minor errors are permissible, frequent errors can detract from the overall clarity and coherence of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
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