Some children spend hours every day on the smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many perspectives revolve around whether
children
spending hours daily on smartphones
contributes to a positive or negative development
. Personally, I witness more shortcomings than advantages. In the following, I tend to discuss in terms of interpersonal and neurological aspects with evidence from current social trends and research.
The convenience of the internet allows children
to text and video chat with friends regardless of time and location, explaining their habit of smartphone overuse. Some perspectives hold the belief that the social platforms on smartphones
, namely WhatsApp, WeChat, and Signal, are healthy for youngsters' social and interpersonal development
. Notwithstanding the convenience, research shed light on that phone maniacs develop a high likeliness of social disorders. Specifically, children
are less likely to initiate eye contact during conversation with a classmate or an adult. What is more, the skill of communicating through face-to-face would be lessened. They may grow a preference for communicating through social platforms.
Another interesting point of children
's indulgence in smartphones
is due to
the quickness and diverse variety of entertainment applications. Despite its convenience and leisure, the short-lengthen videos of TikTok and YouTube shorts bring detrimental consequences to children
's attention span. Research revealed that a child's focusing time has been limited to only 10 to 30 seconds. Given the alarming effect on neurological development
, children
could hardly build interest in academics or extracurricular activities. It is highly likely that the future generation’s source of entertainment purely and heavily relies on the source of short-lived reels.
In an overview, spending hours daily on smartphones
would be beneficial to children
's social development
. But noticeably, excessive smartphone hours are harmful to children
's social and attention-span development
. Nonetheless
, it is believed that a suitable amount of parental guidance and time control are some of the best lexes for the prevention of these dilemmas.Submitted by periset on
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Task Achievement
Remember to directly address the question parts about why this development is happening and your stance on whether it's positive or negative earlier in your essay. This makes your argument clearer to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, which is commendable. However, improving the transitions between paragraphs can make your argument even more fluid. Phrases like 'Additionally', 'Furthermore', or contrastingly 'However', can provide clearer connections between your ideas.
Task Achievement
While you provide examples and research to support your points, making these examples more personal or specific can enhance your argument. Consider adding statistics or findings from named studies to strengthen your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.