"Prevention is better than cure" Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
According to
, World
Correct article usage
the World
Health
Organization, health
is considered as physical, mental, and social wellbeing. Although
, in today’s world, there are many treatments for almost all the
illnesses, I believe prevention is better than cure. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, I completely agree to
the given statement and in Change preposition
with
this
essay, I will discuss further
regarding my answer.
There are some diseases, which can not be cured once you get Rephrase
further.
it
, but those conditions can be prevented easily through some life modifications. Correct pronoun usage
them
For example
, non-communicable diseases such
as diabetes, hypertension, heart conditions and hypercholesterolemia can be prevented by healthy
diet. For a year, the government spend millions of dollars to treat patients with these illnesses. But if the government spend half of the money to increase awareness of the community about these conditions, in no time people will be healthy Add an article
a healthy
as well as
the
money will be saved.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, in Sri Lanka, the most prevalent cancer among males is oral squamous cell carcinoma. The reason is betel chewing. Betel chewing has a cultural value. Because of that, the public does not consider it as
a bad habit. Even thoughChange preposition
apply
,
patients with oral carcinoma undergo surgeries, there is a high chance of recurrences and Remove the comma
apply
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
Change preposition
of the
the
cancer to Change the article
apply
lungs
and other systems. Correct article usage
the lungs
Moreover
, the mental health
of the person who got the disease and the mental health
of the relatives should be considered. It will not be as same as it was before. Therefore
, even though, they undergo surgery, they will be living with fear about
recurrences and they will have to face Change preposition
of
side
effects of the treatments. But the sad truth is thatCorrect article usage
the side
,
it could have been prevented easily with Remove the comma
apply
habit
intervention.
Replace the word
habitual
To conclude
, in my perspective, it is better to prevent a disorder than curing
it and it will help the Wrong verb form
cure
health
of the public as well as
economy
of the country.Add an article
the economy
Submitted by g.chamodi94 on
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introduction/conclusion improvement
Make sure your essay includes an identifiable introduction and conclusion. Your conclusion does well in summarizing your viewpoints, but the introduction could more clearly preview the points you will discuss.
paragraph development and support
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it are focused on supporting that idea. Developing your paragraphs with more detailed examples and explanations will strengthen your argument.
use of cohesive devices
Aim for a more structured approach to your essay by having clearer transitions between paragraphs. Phrases that signal your next point or show the relationship between ideas will improve the flow of your text.
example specificity
Expand on the examples provided, using specific facts or data where possible to strengthen your argument.
argument depth
Work on providing a more nuanced view by discussing exceptions or acknowledging counterpoints to your argument. This can add depth to your essay.
logical flow of essay
Pay attention to your essay's logical structure. Ensure there is a clear progression from introduction through to conclusion, with each paragraph logically leading to the next.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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