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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.
#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors
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The two pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about the
people
Use synonyms
 who
visit
Use synonyms
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
survey in 4 different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
.the highest
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
Use synonyms
visit
Correct pronoun usage
who visit
show examples
 the common survey are
people
Use synonyms
 and the high cost of living others under 40% in two different pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
Correct your spelling
first
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 point is
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who
Use synonyms
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 the survey is the highest number
however
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of scenery decreased quickly to 35% after that cluster is the second lowest
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
Use synonyms
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 about 12% the
last
Linking Words
 one is good accommodation
Correct your spelling
people
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 is not
visits
Correct subject-verb agreement
visit
show examples
this
Linking Words
 place the lowest
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 about 11%
This
Linking Words
 is disadvantages first point is
people
Use synonyms
 who spend a lot of money is the highest
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 about 50 % after that the
Use synonyms
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 decreased rapidly to 25%
flowed
Verb problem
followed
show examples
 by the
people
Use synonyms
 who
visit
Use synonyms
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
 is about 15% the lowest one is food quality about 10% only
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, visit, numper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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