IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.
#show #bowen #island #survey #visitors
The two pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about the
people
 who
visit
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
survey in 4 different
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
.
Overall
.the highest
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
visit
Correct pronoun usage
who visit
show examples
 the common survey are
people
 and the high cost of living others under 40% in two different pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
show examples
.
This
 is
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
Correct your spelling
first
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 point is
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 the survey is the highest number
however
 the
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of scenery decreased quickly to 35% after that cluster is the second lowest
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 about 12% the
last
 one is good accommodation
Correct your spelling
people
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 is not
visits
Correct subject-verb agreement
visit
show examples
this
 place the lowest
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 about 11%
This
 is disadvantages first point is
people
 who spend a lot of money is the highest
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 about 50 % after that the
numper
Correct your spelling
number
 of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 decreased rapidly to 25%
flowed
Verb problem
followed
show examples
 by the
people
 who
visit
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
 is about 15% the lowest one is food quality about 10% only
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, visit, numper with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: