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Many people are doing their shopping on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online.

#people #internet
Nowaadys,The majority of
people
 are buying the shopping from the internet in
this
 essay I will discuss the
advantages
 and disadvantages.
Firstly
 there are a lot of
advantages
 first point, peolpe can get what they from the
website
 and all
people
 are going to see the
website
 and buy it something
for example
 :the popular
website
 for
clothes
 and chose is shein why
this
 is popular because the price of products are cheaper than the shops and good quality that why
people
 buy in
website
moreover
 the payment are two method first is by credit card inside the
website
 after the select of
product
 second payment is cash when arrive the dilvery representative so
people
 can gave them the money that's fine .
This
 is disadvantages.first point is the
product
 is late some times because the company is stressing at the holiday or during the necessary thing
for example
 : I ordered the
clothes
 from shein and the
clothes
 were late because I ordered with bad time so it Was Eid in my country so I didn't get the clothe after I finished Eid so it took one week more over some times the company is giving the
product
 wrong person
that is
 embarrassing for
people
 because
that is
 wrong from the sttaf so it needs to Deduction from them salary . To councled.the majority of
advantages
 are can order and get it thier
clothes
however
 the most common of disadvantages are the
product
 are late
that is
 bad for
this
 company In my opinion I absolutely
advantages
 with
this
 essay.
Submitted by nawafalruwaili363 on

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task achievement
Your essay topic was well-understood, but your argument structure could be clearer. Start with a more direct introduction that clearly states your thesis and gives an overview of the points you'll discuss.
coherence cohesion
Consider using paragraphs more effectively to separate your ideas. This will help your essay flow more naturally and make it easier for your reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For coherence, transitioning between your ideas and paragraphs will greatly improve the readability. Use transition words like 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to link your ideas together.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more detailed and substantiated examples. While you provided examples, ensuring they clearly support your main points will strengthen your argument significantly.
coherence cohesion
To improve readability and professionalism, careful proofreading is necessary. Watch out for spelling mistakes, such as 'peolpe' instead of 'people', and consider revising awkward or unclear sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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