Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals

Many

individual

Change to a plural noun

individuals

show examples

argue that the loss of

particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

gropu

Correct your spelling

group

plants

and

animals

today is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

major environmental issue.

While

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apply

show examples

other

belives

Correct your spelling

believes

show examples

that there are more big environmental problems. In my opinion, people should

be prepare

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be prepared

show examples

for other environmental

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

rather than worrying about

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

some living

beings

species. Extinction of living organisms can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

natural balance. If the whole family of

animals

and

plants

dissapere

Correct your spelling

disappears

, it will create

imbalance

Add an article

an imbalance

show examples

Correct article usage

the echo-system

show examples

echo-system

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

show examples

as it

effect

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other living

beings

habitant and

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

mass extinction of the other

animals

and

plants

too.

For example

honey

bees are responsible for pollination, so that the

plants

can produce fruits and the

honey

made by

honey

bees is

source

Add an article

the source

a source

show examples

of food for other

animals

and human

beings

too. Once, the

honey

bees vanished

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

the earth whole living

organizm

Correct your spelling

organism

organisms

may

extint

Correct your spelling

exist

due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of food.

Hence

, it is necessary to protect

endengerd

Correct your spelling

endangered

species so that there will be balance in nature and other organisms can survive too. Mankind should focus on

stoping

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stopping

show examples

other disaster

Change the wording

another disaster

other disasters

show examples

in order to prevent mass

extiention

Correct your spelling

extinction

extension

extinctions

. There are major environmental disaster problems like

globle warmig

Correct your spelling

global warming

which impact

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apply

show examples

the

earth

Change noun form

earth's

show examples

temperature,

climate

Correct word choice

and climate

show examples

and

responsible

Add a missing verb

are responsible

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for ozone layer

diplation

Correct your spelling

depletion

dilation

as it can vanish all living

beings

from the

planate

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planet

show examples

It's

Correct your spelling

Its

show examples

process is slow and

unnotecible

Correct your spelling

unnoticeable

but it will show its result in

decyds

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decades

deeds

even in

century

Add an article

a century

show examples

. For

intance

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instance

, recent data

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from

show examples

WHO(World Health Organization) carried out in 2023 provided that

due to

the

globle

Correct your spelling

global

warming impact

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apply

show examples

the

temparute

Correct your spelling

temperate

rises every

1 degree

Add a hyphen

1-degree

show examples

celcius

Correct your spelling

celsius

in 4 years which will become 60

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

show examples

celcius

Change the capitalization

Celcius

show examples

in 50 years, if the temperature rises to

50 degree

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50-degree

show examples

celcius

Correct your spelling

celsius

, many

animals

and

plants

species will die out. To

couter

Correct your spelling

solve

this

problem planting

tree

Fix the agreement mistake

trees

show examples

and increasing forest area are essential

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can protect

animals

plants

and human

beings

. In conclusion, every living

beings

Change to a singular noun

being

show examples

play

Wrong verb form

plays

show examples

vital

Add an article

a vital

show examples

role in nature and it is important to preserve all living

beings

. But there are other main environmental problems.

Individual

Fix the agreement mistake

Individuals

show examples

should make

Add an article

a strategy

the strategy

show examples

strategy

Fix the agreement mistake

strategies

show examples

to overcome

other major environmental issue

Change the wording

another major environmental issue

other major environmental issues

show examples

globle

Correct your spelling

global

warming

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that all living

organism

Fix the agreement mistake

organisms

show examples

can live.

Submitted by prashant.pun2076 on Sun Mar 03 2024

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Task Achievement

Focus on improving the structure of your essay by providing a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarizing your main points more effectively in the conclusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence, work on your transitions between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. It will make your argument more cohesive and easier to follow.

Task Achievement

Enhance your task achievement by developing your examples further. Use specific, detailed examples to support your arguments. This clarity will strengthen your essay significantly.

Task Achievement

Consider revisiting the topic to ensure all aspects are covered comprehensively. While you’ve discussed both views, developing a clearer stance in your conclusion could improve task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors. Correcting these will improve readability and present a more polished essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people from rural areas moving to the cities. What problem can this cause? What can be solutions?

With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

Topic: In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on society?

In large towns and cities, people often know very few of their neighbors. What problems can this cause? What can be done about these problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.