All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and eletric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, electric vehicles are becoming more famous
between
people. Change preposition
among
While
some groups believe they should completely replace gasoline ones, I disagree that
and think both of them Change preposition
with that
has
their own upsides and drawbacks.
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
To begin
with, advocates of electric cars
tout their many advantages. They are a lot more environmentally friendly than diesel ones. Hence
, they can help different nations in order to reduce air pollution and increase the healthcare of their residents. China, for example
, was one of the most dangerous countries for sensitive members of community
because of its terrible air quality. But, it invested more money Add an article
the community
on
electric transportation and now it is the country with the most machines on the road using electricity. Change preposition
in
Additionally
, electricity is a renewable source of energy. That means governments will have no concers
about its quantity and Correct your spelling
concerns
next
generations can use it as well.
Despite all Correct article usage
the next
benefits
of electric Correct article usage
the benefits
cars
, diesel cars
has
the edge over them Change the verb form
have
in
some extent. Gasoline is so much easier to put in the Change preposition
to
cars
and so, It can save tons of time for consumers. While
,
electric automobiles need several hours to get fully charged. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, Tesla
Correct article usage
the Tesla
model
3 requires 5 Capitalize word
Model
hour
to get fully charged but Change to a plural noun
hours
this
is about ten minutes for perol
means of Correct your spelling
petrol
transportations
. Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
In addition
, vehicles which use petrol as fuel usually live longer than other ones. Because they're just made of metal. But electric cars
use dangerous reactions to make a source of energy which can reduce their lives.
To conclude
, the controversy about whether fossil fuel transportation should be completely banned remaines
heated between different groups of Correct your spelling
remains
remained
community
. I believe a blend of fossil fuel and electric automobiles can Add an article
the community
more
beneficial for both us Add a missing verb
be more
an
Correct your spelling
and
environment
and each person should choose which one he/she wants.Correct article usage
the environment
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Task Response
Try to clearly present your stance in the introduction and consistently maintain it throughout the essay. Your position seems somewhat neutral, which might affect the clarity of your argumentation.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your points. While you mention a few examples, such as China and Tesla Model 3, elaborating on these or adding more would strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on making your essay’s structure more cohesive by using linking words and phrases more effectively. This will help in smoothly transitioning from one idea to another.
Language Use
Consider using a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and richness of your writing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.