Some believe that it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct and therefore, there is no reason to try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that it is not necessary to save
animals
from extinction because they will die eventually. This
essay completely disagrees with this
statement because they play a significant role in biodiversity and help fight climate change, thus
people should keep their existence.
To begin
with, animals
are important for biodiversity. They play a crucial role in providing balance in the variety of life on Earth. Humans need animals
to survive, insects are necessary for plants to bear fruits, and so on. That is
to say, every living thing works together in order to protect the ecosystem and keep the population alive. For example
, bees are necessary for pollinating plants. Thus
, it ensures that plants will be able to produce food to feed humans. Thus
, it is necessary to prevent animals
from extinction because this
can disrupt the Earth.
In addition
to that, animals
help fight the effects of climate change. Animal species can help capture and store carbon dioxide in the environment. As a result
, it helps regulate the temperature that is
suitable for life. For instance
, whales feed plankton with their faeces and help them thrive. These planktons help capture 40% of carbon dioxide on the planet. Thus
, there will be a significant consequence for humans and the ecosystem if the animal kingdom becomes extinct.
In conclusion, while
it is a natural phenomenon for an animal to die, we must prevent them from becoming extinct because they play an important role on the planet , especially in maintaining life and weather changes.Submitted by yoko.onerom on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a consistent logical flow throughout your essay. Your essay has a strong overall structure, but some paragraphs could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to introduce a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, hence, consequently) to link your ideas more effectively. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Focus on providing a clear response to the essay question in the introduction. Your stance should be immediately clear to the reader.
task achievement
Support your main points with a variety of examples and explanations. While you provided relevant examples, more could be added to strengthen your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?