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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learining a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#experts #children #foriegn #language #school
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Based on the research done, the researchers concluded that learning a second
language
 is more suitable and effective for students at the primary level compared to middle
school
. I completely agree with
this
, and I think that the benefits of learning a new
language
 in elementary
school
 will be much greater than in middle
school
.
Children
 in the second seven years of life have higher learning power compared to the third seven years. Elementary students have incredible ability and skill at learning new skills and their concentration power is much higher.
On the other hand
, learning at a young
age
 is more durable and changes
children
's way of thinking, which will have a very positive effect on their lives in the future. Because
children
 in elementary
school
 face fewer puberty problems and experience fewer challenges, they can devote more time to education. Learning at a young
age
 can
also
 have disadvantages. It may make the student feel inadequate or cause the student to feel a lot of pressure from learning a new
language
, which makes her less interested in the new
language
. These days,
children
 are bombarded with leisure time classes, which may make them not have a happy childhood.
Although
 learning at a young
age
 has its disadvantages, in today's world, knowing a new
language
 is not a choice, but a compulsion, and serious decisions should be made from an early
age
. The skill and concentration of
children
 in elementary
school
 is considered an important thing that cannot be easily ignored and, by teaching a second
language
, a window of other skills can be opened to students.
Submitted by rahaaa1325 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples and evidence to support your main points more effectively.
language
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity and accuracy.
language
Experiment with more complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that is well-supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingualism
  • cognitive development
  • linguistic proficiency
  • language acquisition
  • cultural awareness
  • multiculturalism
  • early intervention
  • language immersion
  • primary education
  • secondary education
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