Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying that in
this
modern age,
children
-oriented advertisements are proliferating, inevitably leading to harmful consequences for the generation that gets exposed to
this
content in the view of some.
While
this
brings about some disadvantages, publishing a ban on these commercials is unnecessary, as parental surveillance and accountability can direct
children
's cognitive thinking. Opponents of
this
trend argue that advertising directed toward those in their formative years leads to severe consequences. In more detail, adolescents with excessive screen time with
this
type of content can cause conflict and tension between them and their parents. If they wish to possess extravagant toys or phones, but the adults cannot afford these products, they have no choice but to defy their parents as their desire is deprived.
Besides
that, if those who hold parental responsibility
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
children
's expectations excessively,
this
can be a fundamental of bad personal traits
such
as jealousness and selfishness, which can adversely persist into
young
Correct word choice
younger
show examples
generations' adulthood.
Thus
, promotional campaigns that aim at
children
have more than their fair share of disadvantages.
However
, blaming these
children
-directed commercials for
such
detrimental effects cannot ensure equality since
this
drives economic boosts and
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
moral knowledge throughout representative characters. In more detail, youngsters can learn from these imaginary friends who deliver positive messages, resulting in an individual with excellent well-being.
Therefore
, those responsible for
children
's exposure to these campaigns should teach them logical thinking to make a proper purchase and avoid consuming promoting products
such
as junk food and tobacco.
Besides
that, teaching youngsters to differentiate between reality and marketing is integral, as being surrounded by the paradox of campaigns in
this
age is inevitable. In conclusion,
while
the promotion of products that are aimed at
children
can pose a threat to the relationship between them and their parents, implementing a prohibition plan cannot contribute to hindering
this
progress, but parental accountability to monitor what
children
watch and instructing to distinguish is way more essential.

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure a complete and balanced response to the question. Expand on how advertisements aimed at children can be seen in a positive light as well, balancing the argument further. Providing clearer, more varied, and specific examples would greatly enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, organize your ideas more logically, making sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate linking words. Introducing a wider range of cohesive devices could help to improve the readability and flow of your essay. Ensuring that each main point is clearly supported with specific examples or explanations will also add to the cohesion of your writing.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Targeted advertising
  • Psychological development
  • Artificial needs
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Parental responsibility
  • Critical thinking
  • Informative content
  • Economic implications
  • Revenue generation
  • Content creation
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