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Writing Samples
Band 4

The popularity of online education has grown significantly in the recent years.Do you think this positive or negative development.

#popularity #education #years #development
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Over the
last
 few years, online
education
 become very famous and many people prefer studying online
than
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to
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 offline because that
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 advantages their lifetime.
However
,it can have some disadvantages as well in
this
 essay I will
try
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try to
show examples
 discuss both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 and negative sides of
this
 and draw a conclusion. On the one hand,there are several benefits
online
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of online
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education
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in humans
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humans
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human
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 life because
provide
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provides
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 opportunities and facilities for
students
such
 as they can both
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 and studying .To explain, nowadays many
students
while
 studying time they can engaging other jobs.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
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 improving economic progress
as well as
 enriching experiences for future careers .
For example
,
according to
 a recent survey
last
 decades many
youngers
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youngsters
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learning online courses
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 offline
education
.Cause of that comfort
for
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apply
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students
also
they studying
Wrong verb form
study
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 online
foreign
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at foreign
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countries'
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countries
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famous
Correct word choice
apply
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Universities. As
consequence
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a consequence
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, developing online
education
offer
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offers
show examples
 several positives for
students
.
On the other hand
, despite
mentioned
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the mentioned
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 positives
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of online
show examples
online
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of online
show examples
education
but
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apply
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there are some downsides
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apply
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it
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apply
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is
that
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as
show examples
Correct article usage
a lack
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
Fix the agreement mistake
practice
show examples
practices
Fix the agreement mistake
practice
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 for children and teachers
do
Verb problem
apply
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not
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
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their
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doing
Verb problem
apply
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tasks.
That is
,if school pupils
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 online they do not
practices
Correct subject-verb agreement
practice
show examples
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in as
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as
Correct your spelling
a
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classrom
Correct your spelling
classroom
classrooms
 and teachers do not display their teaching skills
Moreover
, they do not encourage children during online lessons.
As a result
 many young generations
Add a missing verb
do
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not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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 knowledge during school time .
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 they even commit minor
reduce they
Replace the word
reduction in their
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 knowledge rate than offline
education
.
Therefore
, online
education
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 beneficial for school pupils cause
of
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apply
show examples
teachers do not supervise them during
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
 online
education
 can offer several positives there may be some drawbacks too.From my personal point of view
advantages
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the advantages
show examples
 of
this
 outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce your topic and state your position in the introduction. This helps readers understand your perspective from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Focus on developing clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph should have a main idea that is explored in depth.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This makes your arguments more convincing and engaging for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay logically, ensuring there is a clear progression of ideas. This helps maintain the reader's interest and understanding throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion. These parts of your essay frame your argument and help reinforce your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with clear examples and explanations. This strengthens your arguments and makes them more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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