Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?
In the present, it is undeniable that famous persons tend to share their personal opinions on public
issues
more often. In my view, participating in public matters has positive impacts in terms of raising awareness and supporting freedom of speech, all of which will be discussed in this
essay.
One of the most apparent reasons is that sharing views on social issues
can lead to having more awareness in society. This
is due to
the fact that celebrities own greater power than normal people
. Once stars express their thoughts about politics, environmental problems or some campaigns to the public, people
are likely to pay attention to those issues
and take action on them. For instance
, Harry Styles, the famous singer who supported the LQBTQ+ community through his outfits and waving the pride flag in every concert. Those actions can make some people
more open about this
community.
Another point that should not be ignored is supporting freedom of speech. To clarify, every individual should have the right to receive information and express their views. If celebrities share their opinion on public issues
, it is likely to make other people
want to exchange their thoughts as well, resulting in diverse perspectives which lead to the best solutions in society. For example
, one famous star in Thailand shared his opinion on political
controversy, and after that others Add an article
the political
also
started speaking out and the government paid more attention to this
problem.
To summarize, it is evident that this
behaviour is a positive development as it can raise awareness and support freedom of speech. However
, people
should carefully think before posting or commenting on public matters.Submitted by rasita.pare on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a good overall response to the task. To achieve a higher score, try to explore counterarguments as well. This would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic and provide a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
For improved clarity and coherence, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs. This would make the progression of ideas smoother and facilitate better reader understanding.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas in your essay, staying relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Your examples, like Harry Styles supporting the LGBTQ+ community, were relevant and specific, effectively supporting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with well-defined paragraphs, an introduction, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points were well-supported with reasonable explanations and examples, adding depth to your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite