It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
generation, most people are generally focused on earning money with the help of their employment,
instead
Linking Words
of focusing on
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, I totally agree with the statement.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of
this
Linking Words
intention, the public are thinking that they are generating a tremendous amount of money, but they do not realize that It will cause serious health issues to their body. So, I will discuss the citizens who face issues when they work continuously. Starting from a positive point of view, In
this
Linking Words
era, employees
care
Use synonyms
much more
care
Use synonyms
about their future from a financial perspective, which is good. Because life is unpredictable, bad events can happen at any point of time in their lives.
Hence
Linking Words
, saving wealth is a good habit, and
also
Linking Words
it helps them to recover from the worst scenario.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the data analysts found that people who have a large amount of wealth recovered from disasters.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can start living their life usual without any financial trouble.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when the labourers are working more than their working hours, it causes serious illnesses to their bodies
such
Linking Words
as mental and physical illness, which leads to permanent injury. Because, they are only targeted at earning money,
instead
Linking Words
of caring about their
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
. Apart from that, it
also
Linking Words
affects their family in a negative way like, not worrying about their child's future.
In addition
Linking Words
, As a parent, we need to guide them in the right way, which creates a bright and colourful future for their child.
For instance
Linking Words
, most scientists found that people who maintain their
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
are living peacefully.
As a result
Linking Words
, it drastically reduces health-related problems. In conclusion, in
this
Linking Words
world, we can find both types of citizens, who
care
Use synonyms
and do not
care
Use synonyms
about their work-
balance
Use synonyms
life. In my opinion, I suggest the government should take action to spread awareness about
work-life
Use synonyms
balance
Use synonyms
, which helps to improve the condition of the nation.
Submitted by jeevesh001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and development of your ideas. Each paragraph should focus on exploring a single main idea with rich, detailed support. Consider providing more specific examples from real-life scenarios or credible sources to underpin your arguments.
Task Achievement
Work on constructing clearer topic sentences that directly respond to the essay question. This will help guide the reader through your argument efficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, beyond simple linking words, to create a seamless argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay's introduction and conclusion. The introduction should more explicitly address the essay prompt, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points without introducing new information.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: