IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country?

#tourism #countries #country
Many
countries
 are encouraging
tourists
 to visit their
countries
.
Although
 an increase in tourist numbers could pollute the
country
, I believe that
tourism
 can improve the economic state of a nation and
also
 spread knowledge about the
country
 to the rest of the world. On the one hand,
tourism
 can lead to pollution of the areas that they cluster in groups. Since many
countries
 do not have strong policies against
tourists
, many of them take it for granted and litter the surroundings without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
concern.
For example
, a beach
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the eastern side of Sri Lanka lost its pristine beauty after being dirtied by foreign travellers.
However
,
this
 is a fixable problem; the government can impose sanitary laws or do regular
cleans
Replace the word
cleaning
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of nations flourishes because of the increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
.
That is
 to say that people spend a lot of money in the
country
 and fuel the economy. Many
countries
 like Dubai and Sri Lanka are heavily dependent on foreign visitors, because of the influx of the money they bring to the
country
.
In addition
,
tourism
 promotes the values of the
country
 to the whole world. When foreign dwellers go to a
country
 they not only perform leisure activities but
also
 experience the culture the nation has to provide. They post pictures and share experiences of the local culture
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their family and friends. In conclusion, the disadvantage of
tourists
 polluting the
country
 is outweighed by the increase in financial support
tourism
 brings and the fact that it educates other
countries
 about its national attributes.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response that addresses the prompt effectively. However, try to expand a bit more on the disadvantages to make the discussion more balanced.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully develops its idea; for instance, provide a little more insight into how the economy benefits from tourism.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay, which makes your main points easy to follow.
supported main points
The main points in your essay are well-supported with relevant specific examples, such as the example of the beach in Sri Lanka.
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