IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and megazines has significant impact on local culture. What do you think has been the impact? Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#exposure #media #films #tv #megazines #impact #culture
Media
 content has increased exponentially in
last
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the last
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 few years, because of
growing
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a growing
the growing
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 number of video editing tools and
platform
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platforms
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 which not only provide simple features like uploading to creators but
also
 give free access to viewers to watch
these
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this
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 content. The rising trend of
contents
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content
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have
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has
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 brought new ideas and cultures into people's
mind
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minds
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. These trends have pros like free education,
informative
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and informative
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videos
 related to a topic but
also
 cons like hate
speechs
Correct your spelling
speech
, disinformation, etc. We will discuss each side of
impact
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the impact
show examples
 with examples in
below
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the below
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 paragraph.
First,
let us consider the positive impact on local culture by international
media
 by providing free or
low cost
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low-cost
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 informative
videos
 to remote areas.
For instance
, international
media
 in recent years have demonstrated the effect of climate change on water scarcity in all
the
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apply
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parts of the world and
urge
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urged
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 farmers to move towards organic farming which could be
solution
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the solution
a solution
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 to the problem.
Thus
, through these
contents
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contents,
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 more
resilent
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resilient
 and aware solutions are reaching
to
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apply
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farmers around the world which in turn
reduce
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reduces
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 poverty and loss to a
nation
. On the other side, hate speech against any religion, person or community
along with
 disinformation on internet
videos
 could disturb the harmony and peace of a
nation
.
For example
, a person inciting provocative speech against a
nation
 and urging a particular community to engage in attacks against that
nation
 using disinformation as
tool
Add an article
a tool
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 could destroy the peace and unity of not only that community but
also
 of that
nation
.
In addition
, it will create distrust and
voilence
Correct your spelling
violence
 among the people of the country.
Thus
, these
videos
 are very destructive and should be regulated by the government. To summarize, the
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of
these technology
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this technology
these technologies
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 and
resource
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resources
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does
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do
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 outweigh the disadvantages. But to
ripe
Verb problem
reap
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 the full benefit of it, we need to regulate it as well.
These regulation
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This regulation
These regulations
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 should be very carefully prepared after a long and useful discussion with all the parties involved in the
nation
. In the end, I want to add that all types of
media
 are mere tools and should be carefully used for building new things rather than destruction.
Submitted by akhilrana690041 on

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion on it. A more direct statement about the overall impact and your stance on the advantages and disadvantages would offer clarity.
coherence cohesion
In the body paragraphs, systematically discuss the advantages and disadvantages. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect, clearly delineated from each other.
task achievement
Use more diverse and specific examples to support your arguments. While you mention climate change and hate speech, further detailing or additional examples could strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking phrases and transitional words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion on the overall impact, making your stance clear and emphasizing the significance of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for any grammatical mistakes or typos to enhance its overall clarity and professionalism.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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