The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.

The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Contained in the diagram is information pertaining to the
process
Use synonyms
of producing
chocolate
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
process
Use synonyms
commences with growing
cacao
Use synonyms
trees
then
Linking Words
harvesting, preparing
beans
Use synonyms
,
transporting
Correct word choice
and transporting
show examples
them to factories culminating in a manufacturing procedure to make
chocolate
Use synonyms
. The initial phase focuses on preparing the raw ingredients from
cacao
Use synonyms
trees to transport them to factories. The
process
Use synonyms
begins when the
cacao
Use synonyms
trees are grown for their red pods which are harvested when ripe.
Next,
Linking Words
the white
beans
Use synonyms
are taken and fermented,
Linking Words
subsequently
Add a comma
subsequently,
show examples
they are spread in the sun to dry. The ensuing stage involves packaging the dried
beans
Use synonyms
into sacks before being transported to the factory by truck. Moving on to the subsequent stages where the
cacao
Use synonyms
beans
Use synonyms
are turned into
chocolate
Use synonyms
ready for consumption. Once the
beans
Use synonyms
have been transported to the factory, they move on to the manufacturing stages.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
they are roasted at 350°C
then
Linking Words
they are crushed to remove the outer shell. The whole
process
Use synonyms
terminates when
inner
Add an article
the inner
an inner
show examples
part is pressed resulting in liquid
chocolate
Use synonyms
that can be used to make different
chocolate
Use synonyms
products.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, chocolate, cacao, beans with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: