IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that they can judge
Use synonyms
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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 culture and character based on their
dressing
Replace the word
dress
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. I entirely disagree, it is impossible to assess
humans
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their
clothes
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. Globalisation grants access to multicultural attires.
First,
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since
people
Use synonyms
 widely use social media in their lives, they watch an enormous amount of advertisements on a daily basis which attracts their attention to current fashions and trends so
people
Use synonyms
 make choices
accordingly
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.
Next,
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friends and colleagues
also
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 play a vital role when
people
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 take clothing into consideration.
Often times
Correct your spelling
Oftentimes
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, after getting
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
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from
Change preposition
by
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 co-workers,
persons
Replace the word
people
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 adopt their dressing styles.
For instance
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, nowadays
humans
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 from different backgrounds, work for multinational companies when they interact with each other, they usually talk about their traditional dresses,
eventually
Correct word choice
and eventually
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 most of
time
Add an article
the time
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 they try different attires.
Thus
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,
people
Use synonyms
 opt for plenty of clothing and are not easy to judge on the basis of it. The main reason behind a dressing would be the event which is going to happen.
First,
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the corporate sector
follow
Change the verb form
follows
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 a formal dressing as their dress-code.
Second,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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engagements and weddings are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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events when
people
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 wear vibrant colours.
Third,
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weather constraints are highly inevitable and can not be ignored
while
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 making decisions for attires.
For example
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, lots of
people
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 irritate to wear multiple
clothes
Use synonyms
 at a time but in extreme weather
conditions
Add a comma
conditions,
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 they have to wear a
varierty
Correct your spelling
variety
 of jackets and other stuff to warm themselves.
Hence
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, in light of the aforementioned reasons
people
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 adopt various
dress-codes
Correct your spelling
dress codes
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. In conclusion, most
people
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 think that
Use synonyms
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
 culture and character can be
judge
Wrong verb form
judged
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 by their
clothes
Use synonyms
. I
completey
Correct your spelling
completely
 disagree,
clothes
Use synonyms
 do not allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 know someone.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is clearly focused on a singular main idea to maintain coherence. This will help in making your argument more structured and easier for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a hook, and clearly state your thesis. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples and elaborating on them. This will assist in making your points more compelling and comprehensive.
task achievement
Mind the relevance of examples and details you provide. Ensure they directly support your main argument and are not just mentioned in passing.
overall
To boost your score, work on the precision of your language. Avoid repetition and aim for a rich vocabulary that precisely conveys your arguments and observations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attire
  • fashion trends
  • individuality
  • first impressions
  • designer labels
  • social status
  • cultural appropriation
  • dress codes
  • traditional garments
  • sartorial choices
  • symbolism in clothing
  • cultural identity
  • expression of self
  • global fashion industry
  • cultural integration
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