IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A
lot
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 of countries already started to face challenges not only related to the environment but
also
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 regarding
population
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 and education. With the ever-increasing
population
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, there will be a
lot
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 of drawbacks that should be faced by these countries. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the
problems
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 that could be faced by my country in the coming decade, and
also
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 how to overcome these issues.
Firstly
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, India is now the most populated country in the world. With the ever-increasing
population
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, the production of waste has
also
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 increased in recent years, which has led to environmental damage. If it continues like
this
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, there might be a
lot
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 of
problems
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 that may arise. The most important one is the lack of resources. With the ever growth of
population
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, resource consumption has
also
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 peaked in recent times.
For example
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, I read a survey
last
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 month which states that basic resources like groundwater will be completely consumed in the next decade.
Secondly
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, a
lot
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 of people are well-educated now.
Therefore
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, they are moving to cities for their career growth, and the people who chose farming for their livelihood have been reduced drastically.
Due to
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this
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 scarcity of food might arise. In order to overcome these
problems
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, people should educate themselves about the importance of the environment and should decrease the amount of waste they produce.
This
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 can be achieved by introducing some environmental courses in academics and educating the younger generations on topics like global warming.
Moreover
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, the public who are educated should learn some farming techniques, and how to apply them successfully.
For Instance
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, I recently saw my sister's geographic textbook, and the institution has included a
lot
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 of measures that should be followed to reduce the impacts of global warming.
To conclude
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, It should be the responsibility of everyone to understand the upcoming challenges that should be faced relating to the environment,
population
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 growth, and education.
Furthermore
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, the
population
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 should implement the necessary steps to eradicate the
problems
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.

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to address all aspects of the prompt clearly. While you made a good attempt to cover the asked topics, adding more detailed examples and expanding on how each problem can be specifically addressed would strengthen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that ideas flow logically from one to the next. While your essay is structured well, using a wider variety of linking words and phrases could enhance readability and the smooth transition between ideas.
General
To elevate your essay further, delve deeper into the consequences of not addressing the issues you've identified. Exploring potential outcomes if the problems persist adds depth to your arguments and shows critical thinking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Ecosystem
  • Renewable resources
  • Urbanization
  • Demographics
  • Healthcare system
  • Pension crisis
  • Curriculum development
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning platforms
  • Lifelong learning
  • Public policy
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Green technology
  • Population density
  • Generational equity
  • Economic disparity
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