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Band 5

Intelligence is the most important component for leadership. Do you agree or disagree?

#intelligence #component #leadership
A common belief is whether intelligence plays the most significant part in
human’s
Correct article usage
a human’s
show examples
 ability to lead a group of individuals.
This
 is the opinion of
this
 writer,
however
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good leadership
consisting
Wrong verb form
consists
show examples
 of clear direction
coupled with
 connection. When it comes to leading an organization, clear direction is the most fundamental requirement for a person to assume
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for. It has long been recognized that the leader is
who
Correct pronoun usage
one who
show examples
 will
guideline
Replace the word
guide
show examples
 other people in groups and give them their assignments.
For
this
 reason,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a leader who is able to give his teammates specific paths
as well as
 practical goals,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will save a remarkable amount of energy
along with
 required time, boosting personal performances positively,
moreover
.
For example
, Apple is one of the most successful technological companies
while
 gaining a massive profit annually thanks to its owner Steve
Job
Fix the agreement mistake
Jobs
show examples
, who gave employees specific directions as a quote.
Additionally
,
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
show examples
 is another detrimental element.
This
 is because, not only guiding people but the leader’s responsibility is
also
 bridging the huge gap between personal views, coming up with the final idea as a whole group in the end.
Furthermore
, if there is any misinterpretation
while
 cooperating together, the leading person has to tackle
immediately
Correct pronoun usage
it immediately
show examples
, alleviating possible consequences and resulting in the final universal outcome.
Therefore
, those are reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why the ability to connect
teammates
Change preposition
with teammates
show examples
 is required in a leader. In conclusion, despite
skeptics
Change the spelling
sceptics
show examples
 believing in intelligence,
this
 writer emphasizes the importance of specific direction
along with
 connection in a leader’s trait.
Hence
, the better guidelines and
connect
Replace the word
connections
show examples
teammates
Fix the agreement mistake
teammate
show examples
 leaders can
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
, the better achievements they can obtain as a whole team.
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Task Achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that you address the prompt directly by clearly stating your agreement or disagreement with the statement in the introduction. Expand upon this stance throughout your essay with well-developed arguments.
Task Achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples to support your points. While Apple and Steve Jobs were mentioned, more detailed examples or evidence could strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will create a smoother flow of information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to this main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and make your arguments more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • strategic decisions
  • complex problems
  • fosters innovation
  • adaptation
  • rapidly changing environment
  • emotional intelligence
  • managing one's own emotions
  • attributes
  • integrity
  • resilience
  • inspire and motivate
  • interpersonal skills
  • disregard
  • intuition
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