Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Today, in the
world
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of modern information technologies,
people
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prefer online
communication
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and staying up-to-date by using social
media
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services
instead
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of traditional forms of
communication
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. In my opinion,
this
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trend is more likely to have more positive sights rather than drawbacks. One obvious positive effect of using social
media
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for
communication
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is its accessibility across geographical barriers and
time
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zones. Within a short period of
time
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, the availability of online
media
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services revolutionized various aspects of
people
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’s lives, making
communication
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much easier and more accessible.
People
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from all over the
world
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can keep in touch with their friends, relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances even without going outside. They just need to make a video call, turn on the camera and talk with each other in
real-timetime
Correct your spelling
real-time time
real-time-time
.
For instance
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, the significance of online
communication
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has dramatically increased during the
Covid-19
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COVID-19
show examples
quarantine period, when
people
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were locked in their houses without permission to meet each other.
Moreover
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, social
media
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platforms
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are facilitating online
news
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resources, providing instant updates on recent
news
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from around the
world
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. These
platforms
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help
people
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to stay always up-to-date and enable them to share
news
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and their personal views with others.
In addition
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to the above-mentioned,
communication
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via social
media
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helps
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
save
time
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, as there is no need to wait for a particular appointment date and waste
time
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commuting. Another important advantage of social networks is their decent platform for business
communication
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. By
this
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, I mean that with the help of
such
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social networks as Telegram, Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, professionals have the opportunity to promote their personal brands or start-up projects to a wider audience.
As a result
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, it increases brand awareness and develops engagement with customers. Many companies use social
media
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for feedback collection and market research on consumer preferences.
However
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, despite the immediacy and convenience,
communication
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via social
platforms
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has some negative sights as well. The main disadvantage is the decrease in face-to-face
communication
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and lack of interactions.
Due to
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the excessive
time
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spent on social
media
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people
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are most likely to get used to texting each other and prefer online
communication
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instead
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of meeting in person.
As a result
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,
this
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trend may cause problems with
communication
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skills and even lead to isolation or depression.
In addition
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to
this
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,
people
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need to be always very careful
while
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perceiving any
news
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shared on social
platforms
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, as not all the information can be reliable.
Consequently
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, overreliance on social networks may lead to misinformation and misguidance among the users.
Overall
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, the benefits of social
media
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usage for
communication
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and
news
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awareness outweigh the drawbacks because it is widely accessible and convenient in terms of connecting
people
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from all over the
world
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, it is
time
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-saving and,
moreover
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, it accelerates the ways of
communication
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and brand awareness in the business sphere.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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General
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the essay topic and your stance. Your introduction does an excellent job at this.
Task Achievement
It's beneficial to provide specific examples to support each point made. While your essay contains good examples, incorporating more detailed instances can enhance the argumentative strength.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both parts of the prompt equally. The essay slightly leans more towards the advantages, which might create an imbalance. Aim for a more balanced discussion for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain the use of paragraphs to organize your essay, dedicating each paragraph to a specific main point. This enhances clarity and readability.
Language Accuracy
Be cautious with typos and grammatical errors, such as 'real-timetime' which should be 'real-time'. Regular proofreading can help minimize these mistakes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', and 'Consequently'. This will improve the flow of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
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