Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Write at least 250 words.
Today, in the
world
of modern information technologies, people
prefer online communication
and staying up-to-date by using social media
services instead
of traditional forms of communication
. In my opinion, this
trend is more likely to have more positive sights rather than drawbacks.
One obvious positive effect of using social media
for communication
is its accessibility across geographical barriers and time
zones. Within a short period of time
, the availability of online media
services revolutionized various aspects of people
’s lives, making communication
much easier and more accessible. People
from all over the world
can keep in touch with their friends, relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances even without going outside. They just need to make a video call, turn on the camera and talk with each other in real-timetime
. Correct your spelling
real-time time
real-time-time
For instance
, the significance of online communication
has dramatically increased during the Covid-19
quarantine period, when Correct your spelling
COVID-19
people
were locked in their houses without permission to meet each other. Moreover
, social media
platforms
are facilitating online news
resources, providing instant updates on recent news
from around the world
. These platforms
help people
to stay always up-to-date and enable them to share news
and their personal views with others. In addition
to the above-mentioned, communication
via social media
helps people
to
save Verb problem
apply
time
, as there is no need to wait for a particular appointment date and waste time
commuting. Another important advantage of social networks is their decent platform for business communication
. By this
, I mean that with the help of such
social networks as Telegram, Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, professionals have the opportunity to promote their personal brands or start-up projects to a wider audience. As a result
, it increases brand awareness and develops engagement with customers. Many companies use social media
for feedback collection and market research on consumer preferences.
However
, despite the immediacy and convenience, communication
via social platforms
has some negative sights as well. The main disadvantage is the decrease in face-to-face communication
and lack of interactions.
Due to
the excessive time
spent on social media
people
are most likely to get used to texting each other and prefer online communication
instead
of meeting in person. As a result
, this
trend may cause problems with communication
skills and even lead to isolation or depression. In addition
to this
, people
need to be always very careful while
perceiving any news
shared on social platforms
, as not all the information can be reliable. Consequently
, overreliance on social networks may lead to misinformation and misguidance among the users.
Overall
, the benefits of social media
usage for communication
and news
awareness outweigh the drawbacks because it is widely accessible and convenient in terms of connecting people
from all over the world
, it is time
-saving and, moreover
, it accelerates the ways of communication
and brand awareness in the business sphere.Submitted by aakbarov2010 on
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General
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the essay topic and your stance. Your introduction does an excellent job at this.
Task Achievement
It's beneficial to provide specific examples to support each point made. While your essay contains good examples, incorporating more detailed instances can enhance the argumentative strength.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both parts of the prompt equally. The essay slightly leans more towards the advantages, which might create an imbalance. Aim for a more balanced discussion for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain the use of paragraphs to organize your essay, dedicating each paragraph to a specific main point. This enhances clarity and readability.
Language Accuracy
Be cautious with typos and grammatical errors, such as 'real-timetime' which should be 'real-time'. Regular proofreading can help minimize these mistakes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs, such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition to', and 'Consequently'. This will improve the flow of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example