it is a natural process for animal species to become extinct(dinasaure, dodo) there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Extinction
of
animals
has been occured in some geological eras which had been an inevitable part of evolution. There are a number of individuals who argue that preventing
this
natural process is not imperative. I am definitely against
this
atittude
Correct your spelling
attitude
. On the
one
hand,
proponets
Correct your spelling
proponents
of the idea content that why we should worry about killing or hunting creatures which already have become extinct without any interference
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Furthermore
, people claim
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
due to
the fact that human being is the wisest species on the earth, he or she has the authority to either exploit or
ptay
Correct your spelling
pay
play
them.
Moreover
, they say that we have lost rare species so far, existing on the earth as annually we are losing many species based on
govermental
Correct your spelling
governmental
government
reports and
this
action does not bring about any dangerous implication so we ought not to be minded regarding these
animals
which are less valuable than us.
Also
, many people around the world are dying from hunger and lack of medical facilities, so it is better to devote the budget to rescue them.
On the other hand
, opponents of the idea claim that neglect of the
extinction
will result in the
extinction
of humans. With regard to the reality that all
animals
together form the food chain, not being of any of them means other loops will die, soon or late.
Bsides
Correct your spelling
Besides
this
, if the mother of nature decides to
eleminate
Correct your spelling
eliminate
one
creature, it will fill the blank with more
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
compatible
one
. The more new, the more
resitant
Correct your spelling
resistant
to potential killer factors.
Moreover
,
one
of the reasons that humans work to preserve these
animals
in people can take advantage of the beauty that they give to theme
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
and of course nature.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of other
animals
could jeopardise human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
by starving that it could cause.
Submitted by amirhossein7179 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement, make sure that your essay directly addresses the prompt by stating a clear position in the introduction and by providing a balanced discussion in the body paragraphs. Use the conclusion to reiterate your stance effectively.
Task Achievement
For more comprehensive ideas, refine your analysis by expanding on the implications or consequences of the arguments you present. This deepens the reader's understanding of your perspective and strengthens your argument.
Task Achievement
To fortify your essay with relevant examples, integrate specific incidents, studies, or statistics that support your argument. This makes your position more compelling and persuasive to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate your main points, and ensure there's a logical flow from one argument to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should provide a brief overview of your argument, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, develop each argument with detailed reasoning and examples. This helps to create a persuasive and cohesive piece of writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!