IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Although glabalisation can be positive for some nations' economies, the negative impact on local communities should not be ignored. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
globalisation
Use synonyms
 contributes to the economic growth of some countries, some argue that the drawbacks associated with it should not be taken for granted.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because its disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as the spread of diseases, and damage to the environment, can be detrimental to one country.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the significant disadvantages of
globalisation
Use synonyms
 is that it can easily transfer disease from one border to another. Because of the ease of travel among nations, the spread of disease became quicker too, which can lead to outbreaks.
For instance
Linking Words
, the coronavirus has spread quickly to multiple nations and it killed millions of people on the planet. And it took some time before countries were able to recover from
this
Linking Words
 pandemic.
Thus
Linking Words
, the detrimental effects of
globalisation
Use synonyms
 should not be overlooked.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
globalisation
Use synonyms
 contributes to the damage to the environment. The investment of rich countries in developing nations allows them to utilize the resources available domestically.
However
Linking Words
, they may exploit the resources of the local community leaving nothing to them. Companies may prioritize their profit over implementing sustainable practices.
For example
Linking Words
, most mining companies in the Philippines are owned by foreign investors.
This
Linking Words
 has led to the deforestation of mountains, and
as a result
Linking Words
, the country always experiences extreme flooding whenever there is a typhoon. In conclusion, though
globalisation
Use synonyms
 can help improve the economy, its disadvantages outweigh its advantages.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe that the drawbacks associated with it,
such
Linking Words
 as the possible transmission of infections and its negative impact on the environment, must not be disregarded.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on your arguments with more complex and varied examples to strengthen your position. Try to illustrate your points with broader, worldwide examples and include statistics or studies where possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay demonstrates a clear structure, you could enhance its coherence by improving the transitions between paragraphs. Consider using more varied and sophisticated linking words to show the relationships between ideas more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing your introduction and conclusion further. For the introduction, consider outlining the specific points you will discuss. In the conclusion, strive for a stronger restatement of your position and a summary of the key points covered.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: