You had some photos of your family taken by a professional photographer. Write a letter to the photographer. In your letter - say that you liked his/her photos of your family - ask him/her to be your photographer at a special family event - give him/her the details of the event.

Dear Jack, I am writing to express my personal request for you to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the special day with your exceptional service. Your
last
professional work which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
photos satisfied all members of my family, especially my mother's sensitive character. Your job was greatly appreciated and many thanks for your assistance.
Firstly
, let me explain my position. I have a birthday party after a week which is going to take place in a cafe of center
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
. I have invited my colleagues, old friends, neighbours and
also
some of my parents' relatives who are coming from Turkmenistan. I guess , it will be
unforgettable
Add an article
an unforgettable
show examples
day for everyone's life, because I have planned more enjoyable things. So I need a professional photographer who
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
take attractive photos
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
party
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
take a look
or
Change preposition
at or
show examples
remember after ten years. And could you separate your time to attend the party
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
eleventh
Correct article usage
the eleventh
show examples
March
Change preposition
of March
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
I would be grateful if you could
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
your whole day
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
my birthday. I
hadn't
Wrong verb form
haven't
show examples
offered
this
work to other photographers , because you are
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
one who
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
I know. I hope you won't reject my request. I would appreciate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opportunity to meet with you to discuss your plans and suitable
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
for both of us. You can contact me on my mobile phone which is:198837990. I look forward
hearing
Change preposition
to hearing
show examples
from you soon!
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
sincerely, Nozigul.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to enhance logical structure. Here, your introduction and body are well defined, but the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing your request and expressing gratitude once more for the potential service.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas/thoughts. This is done reasonably well in your letter, but make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a cohesive flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task by mentioning how you liked the photographer's work, requesting their services for an event, and providing details about the event. This has been accomplished well, showing good task achievement.
Task Achievement
The tone of your letter is appropriately formal and polite, which is suitable for writing to a professional. However, pay attention to small errors in grammar and punctuation to maintain this formal register.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: