• What are the benefits and problems involved in introducing compulsory sport in schools throughout your country?

There has been an ongoing debate whether
schools
should introduce mandatory
sport
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sports
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activities across my
contry
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country
. The benefits associated with
this
decision are linked to several downsides, as I will describe in
this
essay, and I will highlight the benefits of it. The
downsides
Fix the agreement mistake
downside
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of introducing compulsory
sports
in
schools
is
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are
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the limitation in personal choice as to
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
the preferred
sport
should be set for each individual. By introducing mandatory
sports
, the educational system often chooses
an
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a
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unique
sport
thus
limiting the preferences of each student in their decision.
Thus
,
students
who are more apt in
sports
based on team games might be forced to perform
sports
that are based on individual
perfomances
Correct your spelling
performances
performance
,
therefore
ignoring their attitude.
For example
, compulsory educational programs often include
long distance
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long-distance
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running at a
disadvatage
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disadvantage
of team
sports
,
such
as volleyball or
basketaball
Correct your spelling
basketball
, which in turn limits the personal expression of
students
who are prone to sociable activities.
Although
imposing
an
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a
show examples
unique
sport
may create several disadvantages,
by
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apply
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introducing compulsory
sports
can contribute
the
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to the
show examples
well-being of the
schools'
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school's
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pupils.
Overall
, regularly
practicing
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practising
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sports
improves the lifestyle of young people, supporting them to perform activities which are physically beneficial.
This
is the reason why, by undertaking a
regaular
Correct your spelling
regular
physical
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
at school, can establish a routine and enhance the student's mental well-being too. Research has demonstrated that including
sports
on a daily basis can improve
students
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students'
student's
show examples
performance not only physically but
also
in the study outcome. In conclusion, the introduction of compulsory physical activity in
schools
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has
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have
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has
show examples
positive effects
Change preposition
on the
show examples
the
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on the
show examples
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student's
students'
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students
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students'
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well-being;
however
,
this
is far from being painless since forcing all
students
perfoming
Correct your spelling
performing
the same activity can limit them in their personal
preseferences
Correct your spelling
preferences
. In order to palliate the downsides, I suggest
to tailor
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tailoring
show examples
the
sports
to each student individually.
Submitted by g.marta2013 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the benefits and drawbacks of compulsory sports in schools. However, you could enhance your essay by providing concrete examples or statistical data to support your arguments. Try to incorporate studies or real-life scenarios that exemplify the benefits or problems you mention.
Coherence & Cohesion
Though your essay has a basic structure, it lacks a strong and clear introduction that states your main argument or perspective. Ensure your introduction briefly outlines the points you will discuss. Similarly, make sure your conclusion summarises your main points and restates your stance, providing a clear closure.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay maintains a logical order, it can benefit from stronger transitions between paragraphs and within them. Use phrases like 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' or 'As a result' to create smoother connections. Also, vary your sentence structures to improve readability and flow.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory sport
  • physical health
  • obesity
  • discipline
  • teamwork
  • screen time
  • outdoor activities
  • stress and anxiety
  • non-athletic
  • resource allocation
  • academic subjects
  • possibility of injuries
  • implementing
  • safety measures
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