• What are the benefits and problems involved in introducing compulsory sport in schools throughout your country?
There has been an ongoing debate whether
schools
should introduce mandatory sport
activities across my Change the noun form
sports
contry
. The benefits associated with Correct your spelling
country
this
decision are linked to several downsides, as I will describe in this
essay, and I will highlight the benefits of it.
The downsides
of introducing compulsory Fix the agreement mistake
downside
sports
in schools
is
the limitation in personal choice as to Change the verb form
are
wheather
the preferred Correct your spelling
whether
sport
should be set for each individual. By introducing mandatory sports
, the educational system often chooses an
unique Change the article
a
sport
thus
limiting the preferences of each student in their decision. Thus
, students
who are more apt in sports
based on team games might be forced to perform sports
that are based on individual perfomances
, Correct your spelling
performances
performance
therefore
ignoring their attitude. For example
, compulsory educational programs often include long distance
running at a Add a hyphen
long-distance
disadvatage
of team Correct your spelling
disadvantage
sports
, such
as volleyball or basketaball
, which in turn limits the personal expression of Correct your spelling
basketball
students
who are prone to sociable activities.
Although
imposing an
unique Change the article
a
sport
may create several disadvantages, by
introducing compulsory Change preposition
apply
sports
can contribute the
well-being of the Change preposition
to the
schools'
pupils. Change noun form
school's
Overall
, regularly practicing
Change the spelling
practising
sports
improves the lifestyle of young people, supporting them to perform activities which are physically beneficial. This
is the reason why, by undertaking a regaular
physical Correct your spelling
regular
excercise
at school, can establish a routine and enhance the student's mental well-being too. Research has demonstrated that including Correct your spelling
exercise
sports
on a daily basis can improve students
performance not only physically but Change noun form
students'
student's
also
in the study outcome.
In conclusion, the introduction of compulsory physical activity in schools
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
have
positive effects Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Change preposition
on the
the
Change preposition
on the
Change noun form
student's
students'
students
well-being; Change noun form
students'
however
, this
is far from being painless since forcing all students
perfoming
the same activity can limit them in their personal Correct your spelling
performing
preseferences
. In order to palliate the downsides, I suggest Correct your spelling
preferences
to tailor
the Change the verb form
tailoring
sports
to each student individually.Submitted by g.marta2013 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the benefits and drawbacks of compulsory sports in schools. However, you could enhance your essay by providing concrete examples or statistical data to support your arguments. Try to incorporate studies or real-life scenarios that exemplify the benefits or problems you mention.
Coherence & Cohesion
Though your essay has a basic structure, it lacks a strong and clear introduction that states your main argument or perspective. Ensure your introduction briefly outlines the points you will discuss. Similarly, make sure your conclusion summarises your main points and restates your stance, providing a clear closure.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay maintains a logical order, it can benefit from stronger transitions between paragraphs and within them. Use phrases like 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' or 'As a result' to create smoother connections. Also, vary your sentence structures to improve readability and flow.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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