Some university students want to learn about other subjects, in addition to their main subjects. All this believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these wheels and give your own opinion .
Students
nowadays have many options at university, they can choose to study a minor Use synonyms
subject
alongside their main Use synonyms
subject
. Some believe that it is good for Use synonyms
students
to learn more knowledge. Use synonyms
While
others believe that it is more important for them to Linking Words
focus
on their main Use synonyms
subject
to get a qualification.
On the one hand, studying a minor Use synonyms
subject
could give people more Use synonyms
job
opportunities. In today's rapidly developing society, peer competition is mounting. In the Use synonyms
job
market, versatile employees are needed. Use synonyms
For example
, some financial companies in China not only require their employees to understand finances but Linking Words
also
require them to have basic computer knowledge Linking Words
such
as Phyton or C++. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
students
who have studied finance and minored in computer science could easily get jobs in these companies compared with other applicants, and vice versa. Use synonyms
Moreover
, some Linking Words
students
who are purely majoring in a liberal arts Use synonyms
subject
are unlikely to find a Use synonyms
job
easily when they graduate. Use synonyms
Consequently
, some choose to minor in a business or science Linking Words
subject
, making it much easier for them to apply for a practical Use synonyms
subject
in graduate school or even find a Use synonyms
job
directly after graduation.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
Students
attend universities with Use synonyms
the
sense of curiosity and a desire to learn new things. Correct article usage
a
Linking Words
however
if they only Add a comma
however,
focus
on their main Use synonyms
subject
, they are only able to learn limited Use synonyms
knowledges
. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
In contrast
, if the student chooses to minor in a different Linking Words
subject
, he or she could Broaden their horizon, learn new knowledge and gain experiences.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
students
should Use synonyms
also
concentrate on their main Linking Words
subject
as well. The more deep they learn, the more complicated it becomes. Use synonyms
Students
should make sure take they are able to pass the final exam of their main Use synonyms
subject
in order to graduate from university and get a qualification. So it could be detrimental to themselves if they Use synonyms
focus
too much on additional subjects.
In conclusion, it is encouraging for Use synonyms
students
to learn an additional Use synonyms
subject
, but they should Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
focus
on their main Use synonyms
subject
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer delineation between the two opposing views in the introduction. Consider rephrasing the introduction to succinctly present both perspectives before delving into the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Proof-read for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'if they only focus on their main subject, they are only able to learn limited knowledges' should be 'if they only focus on their main subject, they are only able to learn limited knowledge.'
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, briefly reiterate the key points of your argument from both sides to provide a more comprehensive summary.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is tightly focused on a single idea. For example, the sentence discussing student curiosity and desire to learn could be better placed at the beginning of a new paragraph.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument with relevant examples, such as the need for financial knowledge alongside computer skills in job markets.
task achievement
The essay remains focused and relevant to the topic throughout, addressing both the benefits and drawbacks of learning additional subjects.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the requirements of financial companies in China, effectively supports and illustrates the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.