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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions difficult such as sahara deseret or the antartic .what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

There is no denying that there has been
increase
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an increase
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 in the number of couples choosing to have no
children
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 is ubiquitous across the globe
due to
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 its importance. The majority of folks are in favour of
this
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 statement
due to
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 its numerous merits.
However
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, some of the
people
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 highlight its demerits first. In my
further
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 paragraphs, the advantages and disadvantages of the same will be discussed. Initiating
with
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apply
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the benefits of the same, the first and foremost key benefit is that couples act
according to
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 their ability and situation.
For example
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, some
people
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 are incapable of having a child
further
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 than growing one. Another benefit which can strike the minds of the
people
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 is that sometimes relationships are ended shortly,
due to
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this
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, having no
children
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 is less complex. To cite an example, in some cases,
people
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 fall in love rapidly, so they may make a fast decision. On its darker side, some of the drawbacks which make it problematic are,
first,
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this
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 phenomenon reduces the population in
such
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 countries.
Secondly
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, it may cause ageing in Western societies.
For instance
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, China
have
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has
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 had intensive regulations on childbirth;
consequently
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, the country had a huge issue with an ageing population.
Last
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 but not least, stability among families who have
children
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 is stronger and more solid than in families without
children
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. In conclusion to the above statement, neither its pros nor its cons can be neglected. It is a mixed bag of positives and negatives. In my opinion, the statement should not be underestimated.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points in each paragraph. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of sentence structures. This can make your writing more interesting to read.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages, which is good.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure tourism
  • ecosystem
  • endurance
  • logistical
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable
  • remote
  • extreme conditions
  • cultural heritage
  • off the beaten path
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