It is better for young to get an advice from old people than young people. do you agree or disagree?

#advice #people

Some people claim that it is better for youngsters to ask the guidance from the elder than young ones. In my opinion, I totally agree with the given ideology, and the reasons for my opinion will be elucidated in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, elders are

peope

Correct your spelling

people

who have a long experience in their lives so they can give us many helpful

advices

Correct your spelling

advice

For example

, when we meet a difficult situation in our lives, the elder can help

dealing

Wrong verb form

deal

show examples

with

promptly

Correct pronoun usage

it promptly

show examples

Furthermore

, in a developed society, young people tend to fall in love early which causes many problems, so some

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

from old people as a talisman.

In addition

this

, because of thick experience and profound vision, elders can help

younger

Correct article usage

the younger

show examples

generation

many

Change preposition

in many

show examples

aspects of their lives.

For example

in business, many companies develop rapidly thanks to experienced seniors. Or like in the purchasing of profits,

senior

Add an article

the senior

a senior

show examples

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

can help more

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

labour

Add an article

the labour

show examples

market and surplus price

as well

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

To conclude

, owing to reasons

such

mentioned

Correct pronoun usage

those mentioned

show examples

above. I totally agree with

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

helpful

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

from the elder.

Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on Mon Mar 04 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your task response, ensure your essay thoroughly addresses the question posed, including presenting a clear opinion and expanding on it with relevant, specific examples. Focus on developing each paragraph with one main idea, supported by detailed examples or explanations.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay could be greatly improved by organizing it more logically. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea, followed by supporting details. Also, make sure to provide a distinct conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

To boost coherence and cohesion, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas, such as cause-and-effect or contrast. Additionally, strive for clear paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on one main idea.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

181 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wisdom
experience
modern challenges
peer advice
long-term perspective
contextual relevance
diverse perspectives
generational gap
mentorship
cautionary tale
evolving societal norms

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It is better for young to get an advice from old people than young people. do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

More and more students are choosing to study abroad. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?