It is better for young to get an advice from old people than young people. do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that it is better for youngsters to ask the guidance from the elder than young ones. In my opinion, I totally agree with the given ideology, and the reasons for my opinion will be elucidated in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, elders are
peope
Correct your spelling
people
who have a long experience in their lives so they can give us many helpful
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
.
For example
, when we meet a difficult situation in our lives, the elder can help
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
with
promptly
Correct pronoun usage
it promptly
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.
Furthermore
, in a developed society, young people tend to fall in love early which causes many problems, so some
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from old people as a talisman.
In addition
to
this
, because of thick experience and profound vision, elders can help
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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generation
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
aspects of their lives.
For example
in business, many companies develop rapidly thanks to experienced seniors. Or like in the purchasing of profits,
senior
Add an article
the senior
a senior
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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can help more
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
labour
Add an article
the labour
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market and surplus price
as well
as
Correct word choice
apply
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.
To conclude
, owing to reasons
such
as
mentioned
Correct pronoun usage
those mentioned
show examples
above. I totally agree with
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
helpful
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from the elder.
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure your essay thoroughly addresses the question posed, including presenting a clear opinion and expanding on it with relevant, specific examples. Focus on developing each paragraph with one main idea, supported by detailed examples or explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay could be greatly improved by organizing it more logically. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea, followed by supporting details. Also, make sure to provide a distinct conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To boost coherence and cohesion, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas, such as cause-and-effect or contrast. Additionally, strive for clear paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on one main idea.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • modern challenges
  • peer advice
  • long-term perspective
  • contextual relevance
  • diverse perspectives
  • generational gap
  • mentorship
  • cautionary tale
  • evolving societal norms
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