IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people are using computers and other electronic devices to acess information. So, printing of books, magazines and newspapers should not be done. Do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the digital era faced by individuals of the XXI century, it is quite common for people to get
information
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 through technological tools
such
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 as their phones, computers or tablets.
Therefore
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, the printed sources of
information
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 are now not necessary.
This
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 essay strongly agrees with the
later
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latter
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 statement, since online options are more
environmentaly
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environmentally
 friendly,
as well as
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 it can
cost
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 less money to access
to
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apply
show examples
them than printed options.
Firstly
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,
one
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 of the main sources of environmental damage is deforestation. Given that the primary source of paper is trees,
this
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 process has
costed
Wrong verb form
cost
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lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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 of maybe even
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
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forests
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of forests
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.
On the contrary
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, with technological devices, the environmental issues reduce noticeably, since people can use their phones, or computers to read news, magazines or even
books
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 in just
one
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 device. A recent study conducted by VOX
,
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apply
show examples
 concluded that the ebook transition contributed to reducing deforestation in green spaces
such
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 as the Amazon rainforest. The study included recommendations from environmentalists who highly encouraged the usage of
kindle
Capitalize word
Kindle
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could
storge
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store
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 a large
amount
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number
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 of
books
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,
instead
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 of falling into detrimental practices like hoarding thousands of printed
books
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.
Secondly
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, the
economical
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economic
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 factor plays a big role when leaning towards digital settings. The
cost
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 of
books
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, magazines or even daily newspapers could take a toll on citizen's economy. To illustrate, the average
cost
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 of a daily newspaper is around
one
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 dollar and fifty cents,
hence
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, buying
one
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 each day could result in spending almost ten dollars a week.
This
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 is highly expensive compared to a yearly digital
suscription
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subscription
subscriptions
 to newspapers like the Times, which could
cost
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 around ten or twenty dollars. In conclusion, the digital advancements made
thorought
Correct your spelling
throughout
this
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 century
has
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have
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 underscored the real lack of utility of traditional -printed- layouts,
such
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 as
books
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 or newspapers. Given the
accesible
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accessible
 nature of
information
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 through technological devices, I do
belive
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believe
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 that the transition is much needed, in order to advocate for greener options and to
also
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 save money,
while
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 still accessing
to
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apply
show examples
relevant and reliable sources of
information
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.

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Task Achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that your ideas are not only clear but also deeply explored. This can be done by elaborating on your points with more detailed arguments and analysis, rather than just stating them.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on the flow of your essay. Connecting sentences and paragraphs more smoothly can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Also, diversifying your sentence structures can enhance readability and coherence.
Supported Main Points
While the main points are supported, digging deeper into the implications and consequences of the topics discussed can make your arguments more compelling. Consider discussing the broader impacts of digital versus printed media on society, economy, and personal habits.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • digital platforms
  • multimedia content
  • e-books
  • environmentally friendly
  • preserve culture
  • tangible
  • digital divide
  • inclusive
  • updated
  • security
  • privacy
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