IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and it is still not ready. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter say what has happened and how you feel ask them to explain why there has been a delay ask them to repair the radio very quickly or to supply you with a new radi

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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in regard to the defective radio that I bought
last
Linking Words
 week from one of your shop on
keneddy
Correct your spelling
Kennedy
Kenedy
 rd in Brampton. After reaching home I realized that the
volume changing
Add a hyphen
volume-changing
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 nob was not working properly. I reached back to the store with a complaint on the same day and the manager said they
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 repair it in three as it
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 a minor defect. I am quite frustrated as It is been 7 days since
then
Linking Words
 I have not heard back for a pickup day. Could you please provide me
more
Change preposition
with more
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 detailed information on the update of the repair
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 As I am travelling next week and would like to carry it with me which is a surprise gift for my mother who lives in another province.
In addition
Linking Words
, I have started packing for my trip and cannot delay more on receiving either the repaired or a new radio. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could look into
this
Linking Words
 matter at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully
xyz
Correct your spelling
XYZ

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task achievement
While your letter addresses the main objectives, providing more specifics about the situation, like mentioning the exact date of the purchase, and clarifying that it was 'two weeks ago' rather than 'last week' as mentioned, would enhance the clarity and context of your letter, aligning it more accurately with the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider linking your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Transition phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to the above,' or 'Consequently' can provide clearer connections between your points, ensuring a more cohesive flow of information and arguments.
task achievement
To fine-tune your letter's tone, vary your sentence structures and employ more formal expressions where appropriate. Phrases like 'I am quite frustrated' could be rephrased as 'I find myself considerably inconvenienced,' which maintains a polite yet assertive tone, typical of formal complaint letters.
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