You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter say how you feel about his performance give details of your musical activities e explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

#concert #singers #singer #performance #activities #e

Dear Baigan, I am Pinda from Purani Haveli, I am writing

this

letter in regards to informing you about how I fell

while

attending one of your concerts held in a famous city of India recently on July 32,2024. I felt amazed when I heard you singing the love song on that day. It was the first time in my life that I attended a music program. And

although

I got the back seat to sit, I felt like I was standing in front of you when you started singing because your voice touched my heart. I want to let you know that you inspired me a lot because of

this

I started to learn singing skills. Every day I try to take some time to attend musical classes which are nearby in the house.

Besides

, I am learning to play the guitar as you use it

while

singing. I request you to help me develop my musical skills by showing me useful tips which I can practice every day. If possible can you take some of your precious time and talk to me one-on-one and provide me with easy tips? Thank you. Regards

Submitted by hassan05.quadri on Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that dates are real or plausible in your letters. 'July 32, 2024' is not a valid date.

task achievement

Add more specific details about your current musical activities to make your letter more engaging and informative.

coherence cohesion

Improve the paragraphing by assigning each idea its own paragraph. This would enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Use transitions to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the logical flow.

task achievement

The letter is written in a respectful and polite tone, appropriate for the intended recipient.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriately used, adding a personal touch to the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

194 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both views and give opinion

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries , students attend university in another city . Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed.

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience