You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter say how you feel about his performance give details of your musical activities e explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

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Dear Baigan, I am Pinda from Purani Haveli, I am writing
this
letter in regards to informing you about how I fell
while
attending one of your concerts held in a famous city of India recently on July 32,2024. I felt amazed when I heard you singing the love song on that day. It was the first time in my life that I attended a music program. And
although
I got the back seat to sit, I felt like I was standing in front of you when you started singing because your voice touched my heart. I want to let you know that you inspired me a lot because of
this
I started to learn singing skills. Every day I try to take some time to attend musical classes which are nearby in the house.
Besides
, I am learning to play the guitar as you use it
while
singing. I request you to help me develop my musical skills by showing me useful tips which I can practice every day. If possible can you take some of your precious time and talk to me one-on-one and provide me with easy tips? Thank you. Regards
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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task achievement
Ensure that dates are real or plausible in your letters. 'July 32, 2024' is not a valid date.
task achievement
Add more specific details about your current musical activities to make your letter more engaging and informative.
coherence cohesion
Improve the paragraphing by assigning each idea its own paragraph. This would enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the logical flow.
task achievement
The letter is written in a respectful and polite tone, appropriate for the intended recipient.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, adding a personal touch to the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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